{THE WHOLE WOMAN BLOGSHOP} ROCKING HER STANCE: YVONNE ORJI

I'm always excited whenever I see someone proudly sharing the things of God, particularly when it goes against the world's "norm". Today's guest is one of those people. Yvonne Orji proudly shares her stance of waiting until marriage to have sex. Not only that, she boldly proclaims it (and allows others too, as well) through her t-shirt company, Rock Your Stance! If you need a straight up, unashamed view on living a lifestyle of purity and how to rock it boldly, then this feature is just for you.

P.S. I proudly proclaim that I've been celibate since 2003 and I'll "fashionably" be saying so with a Rock Your Stance! tee, before and after I'm married :-)

[Be sure to read some helpful tips from Yvonne on how to wait, at the end of the feature]

What inspired you to create Rock Your Stance!?
Rock Your Stance! Started with the production of my first T-shirt Slogan, “Keepin’ It Locked ‘Til I Get That Rock!” Since then, I’ve branched out to include messages for married women (Kept It Locked ‘Til I got That Rock!) and this fall, I’ll unveil a new slogan for people who believe God has BIG PLANS for their lives!!! The inspiration behind Rock Your Stance! was simple. Having confidence in reppin’ the Kingdom of God wherever, whenever! It’s about making bold statements unabashedly. When you Rock Your Stance! whether it be about sexual purity or about what you’re sure you’re entitled to as a King’s Kid, you add your own unique flava and style to it. You make no apologies for what you believe. You Just ROCK IT! Because let’s face it, there are so many people ROCKING HARD messages that don’t necessarily glorify God, and yet we still have closet Christians who try to hide their stance in order to blend in. But as Christians we were never meant to blend, but rather set the standard and raise the bar.

What does "Keepin' It Locked Til I Get That Rock" mean? 
The phrase essentially is declaring a woman’s decision to wait until marriage to engage in sexual activity.

What would you say to a single woman who may be ashamed of her virginal or celibate status and may not want to "rock" it to the world?
I would say, Why Not? When you graduate from Medical School, you don’t keep the title M.D. off your resume. Quite the contrary! In fact, out of respect for your years of hard work, people actually begin addressing you as Doctor So and So. You wouldn’t say, “’No, Please. I don’t want to announce to the world what I am or what I do…” My pastor always says, if you are the only Jesus people will ever see, is God in trouble?! You may be the only person portraying a lifestyle of singleness mixed with holiness, and exuding an aura of happiness, that some will ever see. Why deprive them of an incredible opportunity to expose them to awesome possibilities?! When I perform as a stand-up comic, I make mention for my virgin status, sometimes in non-Christian atmospheres. On one occasion, a comic friend of mine told me that I should consider scrapping that bit of information from my act. I was offended for half a second, and had to make a decision if I was going to shy away from a big part of who I am and my ministry. Well, I decided to keep the bit in my set and I had a mother come up to me afterwards thanking me for being so open to discuss such matters from the platform I was given. Later, I had a young lady send me a message on FB asking how I could be so bold about such a stance. She explained how she too was waiting until marriage, but never had been vocal about it. I sent her to the Rock Your Stance Website and also pointed her towards my mentor, Dr. Lindsay Marsh Warren’s Worth The Wait Revolution Movement, to let her know that there was nothing to be ashamed of, and to reassure her, that she was not alone!

What scriptural reference can you share to help someone who is saving themselves until marriage? 
I think it’s important to remember that this is just a season in one’s life, NOT a life sentence. God desires for us to have the best, live in the best, drive the best, work with the best, and yes, sleep with the best. He said that he comes that we may have life, and life more abundantly. So understanding that if we honor God in this area, He promises to bless our obedience. A big part of this walk is TRUSTING that God is a God of his WORD, and if he said it, he will make it good. Trust that if you wait, He will make it worth your while. He will bring you that mate that you can grow old in love and joy with. So if there is a scripture to help in your wait it will be: Proverbs 3:5-6. Trust in the Lord…and He will make your paths straight.

Yvonne shares some helpful tips on how to wait:
-I would recommend purchasing the book: The Best Sex Of My Life, A Guide to Purity, By Dr. Lindsay Marsh. They can find out more information about her and her movement on www.iamworththewait.com

-I also set boundaries and have lots of accountability. My friends know when I go out with a gentleman, and there are some limits set, if it is be home by a certain time, or go on double dates so we're not alone all the time. It's best to avoid "set up" situations like, "Oh my back hurts, can you give me a massage..." SET UP!!
Like I may have stated earlier, something my pastor taught me is that a lot of folks get full off the appetizer (four play, etc) and don't need the main course. Well, sex was never intended to be like that. God desires for us to have pleasure and enjoy our mates (check out songs of Solomon!) So for me, When I start, I DON'T WANT TO STOP!! If I start kissing, then it's gonna escalate to somebody's shirt coming off, then the pants, then....we have a problem...SET UP! So to avoid this, and I know it may seem radical, but, I have refrained from kissing as well until the preacher says, "You May NOW kiss the bride."

-Is it easy, not at all, but it's a day to day decision. If you are serious about not wanting to get burned, you keep the matches at bey. The same principle applies here. And I tell the guys I date...I'm doing this for YOU! Because we'll start kissing, and it'll get hot and heavy and you'll get an erection, and I can't do nothing about that for you, and then you're going home with (graphic alert) blue balls...and that's no good for anybody involved...

-Not wanting to have sex comes down to a making non-negotiable decision everytime you are with your significant other. You are worth the wait, and if he doesn't think so, then he ain't the one. I tell people ALL the time. This walk may not be for every man. But I don't need every man. I just need ONE GOOD ONE! and he's out there!

[From The Future Wife] P.S. The ladies aren't the only ones rocking their stance

Visit the Rock Your Stance site here