Monday, August 30, 2010

AWAY....

Hello everyone...I will be away from the blog this week. However, I will be updating the fan page. Please join us on Facebook.

Friday, August 27, 2010

"FUTURE WIFE" IS NOW ON FACEBOOK

Hello everyone. Happy #FutureWifeFriday.
Please join the new Future Wife fan page by clicking the banner below.

Do you Tweet? Be sure to subscribe to @the_future_wife.

See what's going on for #FutureWifeFriday

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

WEDDING WEDNESDAY: CHRISTINA & BYRON

I couldn't wait to share this story with you. I wasn't through the first paragraph before I found myself writing to Christina telling her how beautiful her story was. She shares her story (below) in her own words.

Byron and I met in April of 2007, on Facebook, of all places! We actually grew up about 30 minutes away from each other, but never met until we were adults, and had moved away from home.

At the time that we met, I had been through a series of events that had me at a very low point. I had no idea what "real" love was supposed to be like. Even though I didn't really have a relationship with God at the time, I knew who he was, and I knew about his love. I decided that the love of Christ was the only love I wanted from ANY man. About a month after that realization, Byron facebooked me, and it was something about computers, I can't remember exactly what. I do know that there was never an intention of dating, let alone marriage, on either of our parts, but we started talking daily after that.

On the night of his college graduation, he and a friend drove 2 hours to come and meet me (and a couple of friends, he may have been psycho, lol) in person for the first time. We've been pretty inseparable ever since. It was a bit of a whirlwind relationship, I'll admit, but this man wasn't trying to take me to the club, or back to his place. He wanted me to come to church with him. And wow, what a church it was! My husband introduced me to a place of worship where I actually felt like I was growing closer to Christ. He put me in line with a pastor who doesn't preach current events. He preaches the word of God, in a clear, concise, relatable way, and he challenges us to live up to the example of Christ, especially in our marriages. I accepted Christ in October of 2007.

Byron proposed to me in December of 2007, after 6 months of dating. We married on June 21, 2008, at New Hope Baptist Church. On that day, we vowed to keep Christ as the center of our marriage, and to not falter from that. Some days, some arguments, it's easy to overlook that, but inevitably, something happens to remind us of that promise that we made. The promise reminds us of God's plan for marriage, and it brings us back to where we are supposed to be. We pray daily, not only for each other, but for our marriage, and for God's continued presence in it. I firmly believe that this diligence keeps our marriage protected, and strong.

Wedding Photo Credit: Sam and Elizabeth Pervis, Catchlight Photography
To see more of Christina and Byron's beautiful wedding day, click here.

If you would like your wedding featured for Wedding Wednesday please contact me at coafw@yahoo.com

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

QUESTION OF THE DAY

I never thought I'd be thankful for the day when God ended an almost four year relationship that I was in. At the time, I really thought this person was the one for me. Looking back, I'm so grateful that God knew way better than I did and put an end to it all. I understand now that He has someone for me, much greater than I could ever imagine.

QOTD: Were you in a serious/long-term relationship at one time and you didn't understand why it had to end, but are thankful now that it did?


Note: Be thankful when God shuts a door. It might be painful for the moment but He always has a much greater plan and purpose in mind (Jeremiah 29:11)

Friday, August 20, 2010

WHAT'S IN A NAME?

I often think about what my married last name will be. Not only that, I have this "thing" where I want my last name to "flow" with my first name (random I know). Like, what last name will "flow" with Audrey? Here are a few last names that I find particularly interesting:

Anderson, Carter, Walker, Smith, and as of late, Moore, Allen and Jones.

Of course I won't know what my last name will be until I meet him. It's just a Future Wife thing I do quite often lol. Just thought I'd share.

Is there something you think about regarding your future husband? Feel free to share. I'd love to know.

The Future Wife,
Audrey


FEATURED FUTURE WIFE: JAIYA

Every now and then I'm going to feature a fellow Future Wife on the blog. All of us are in different stages of our "future" and it's good to see other ladies who are on the journey as well. I believe the features will encourage and inspire us to remain the set apart ladies that we are and who God created us to be for our future husbands.

Today's Future Wife feature: Her joy is infectious. Her confidence is such that it makes you ask the question, "Where does it come from?" because inside you want whatever it is she has. She is living a bold, uncompromised walk, with her eyes fixed on her King, believing that one day she will be blessed with a king.

Meet Jaiya.


Name Jaiya Keys
Age: 31
Hometown: Orlando Florida
Occupation: Creative Director/Owner of Minister2Me Christian Apparel

What do you like to do in your spare time?
Anything dealing with the Arts: Painting, Writing, Music, Dance etc.. Those things bring me joy and allow some sense of spiritual release and mental relaxation.

What is your favorite scripture?
There are so many!!! If I had to choose one I would say all of Deuteronomy 7 goes pretty hard. I love it! It's a scripture of promise and confirmation. To me it feels like a signed contract from God that I am his CHOSEN vessel and it list my reward, duties, and benefits for choosing a more abundant life with Christ. It's all in there and it gets me excited! The first time that I read it I said "God you mean to tell me that I get ALL of this for believing in you? SIGN ME UP!"

What does the term "future wife" mean to you?
The term future wife means to me Preparation, Purpose and Positioning. The word “Wife” sounds like an assignment from God. I have learned that understanding the true meaning of words is so important in life so I find myself going to the dictionary for everything. The dictionary defines the word "Wife" as a woman joined in marriage to a husband, very simple right? Once I understood the term I went to God's word to find out how God expects me to carry myself as a wife in Proverbs 31:10-31.

How are you allowing God to prepare you to become a wife?
PATIENCE!!! God has given woman a “How to be a wife guide”in Proverbs 31:10-31 It can’t get any easier then that. All we have to do is follow his instructions. I believe that God is preparing me to become a wife by surrounding me with knowledge, understanding, and hypothetical situations that relate to marriage. Knowledge from books and individuals that are successfully married. Understanding of my purpose in my Kings life as a true "help mate" and not a "harass mate". Someone who is soft, gentle, fun loving, wise, forgiving and represents herself as a lady of style and grace at all times. Lastly, hypothetical situations with men that mentally stretch me and force me to become a better woman.

You are very confident. Where does it come from?
Thank you Audrey! My confidence really comes from my relationship with Christ. Scriptures like 1 John 4:4 Greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world. Romans 8:37 “I am more than a Conqueror through Jesus Christ” and Luke 1:37 “Nothing is impossible with God.” Those scriptures give me so much energy to go out everyday of my life and make the impossible possible!

How important is it for a single woman to know her self worth before she gets married?
It is VERY criticle that single woman know their self worth prior to marriage and that they are secure with the woman that God has chosen them to be. God’s word says in Proverbs 31 that as a woman I am "worth more than Rubies and that my husband shall be fully confident in me and see my value and worth." How can my future King see my value or my worth if I don’t know what it is myself? How can he be confident that I can manage the lives of others i.e. a family if I am not managing my own personal life properly?

What are the benefits of a single woman having godly, male friends?
Godly male friends are like the icing on my cake of life as a woman! Too much Venus (woman) can never be a good thing. There needs to be balance in life. As a single woman I call my balance my B.I.C.’s aka my Brothers in Christ. The best way to understand a male point of view is to hear it from a man, not your mother and not your female friends. They are like angels on assignment from God to protect me from emotional, physical, and spiritual damage. They protect me from evil intentions and wasting my time with nonsense. My B.I.C.’s have always been selfless men that have my best interest at hand. I’ve known them for years and those guys keep me covered in Christ.

How does your relationship with God help you to wait on the man he has chosen for you?
This question kind of ties in with the confidence question and knowing your self worth. I’m patiently waiting because God promised me that my husband was going to be the BOMB! I won’t settle for anything less than Fireworks and Butterflies! I have to be transparent with you though, I am a very fearless woman but my #1 fear use to be that I would become so buried in Christ that my King would not seek God first before coming to me. I need to be specific when I say “seek God first” because some may think that interprets into the man needing to be Saved or a Christian when it doesn’t mean that at all. In order for my King to find me he has to seek God first so that God can remove any previous attachments or addictions to sex, drugs, anger, pain from previous relationships etc… If he still has that baggage he’s not ready to be my King, the yoke is not equal.

Name 3 characteristics that you would look for in your future husband
Only 3? That’s tough. Hopefully a relationship with Christ is necessary but can go un listed here.
1)Passion
2)Great sense of humor
3)Intelligence

Some single women think that waiting on God for their husbands means doing nothing but that--wait. You lead a very fulfilling life. What advice would you give to a single woman who is "doing nothing" but waiting on her husband?
As Arsenio Hall would say LET’S GET BUSY!!! Ladies get busy! Create a business, travel the world, enjoy life and establish yourself as a single woman. 1Cor7:32-35 says (the Message) I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you're unmarried, you're free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master. Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention. The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God. I'm trying to be helpful and make it as easy as possible for you, not make things harder. All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in which you can spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of distractions.I’ve completed college, I've worked my career and now I have stepped into my calling as a business owner of one of God’s Kingdom businesses Minister2Me Christian Apparel www.minister2me.com.


Wednesday, August 18, 2010

WEDDING WEDNESDAY: SARAH &ROBERT

Yet another beautiful wedding. This time it's Sarah Jakes, youngest daughter of Bishop T.D. and Serita Jakes, who married Robert Henson in a beautiful ceremony at her father's church, The Potter's House.




Sarah & Robert's Wedding Day (Source: Essence July 2008)
A spotlight beamed on the rear doors of the church as Bishop T.D. Jakes and youngest daughter Sarah Dionne Jakes emerged.

Dressed in a stunning strapless, white gown and escorted by her father, pastor, motivational speaker and author Jakes, Sarah, 19, wed her college sweetheart, Robert Henson, 22, in a ceremony fit for a princess on Saturday, June 21, at The Potter's House in Dallas.

"A lot of people have told us that we're too young, and asked Robert and me, 'Why don't you wait?'" said Sarah, who accepted Robert's proposal on Mother's Day in 2007. "But when you feel like it's right, love one another, and you're ready, why wait?"

Robert agrees: "Everyone likes to say you have your whole life ahead of you, but tomorrow is not promised. I know I love her and we were ready."

The mother of the bride, Serita Jakes, along with family and friends filled the flower-laden pews of Jakes's megachurch. The seven bridesmaids were radiant in chocolate satin dresses. Sarah's maid of honor, big sister Cora, 20, wore a aqua dress, while the groomsmen donned slick tuxedos.

Bishop Noel Jones of the City of Refuge Church in Gardena, California, married the lovebirds, who met a year and a half ago through a mutual friend at their college, Texas Christian University in Fort Worth, Texas.

After walking his baby girl down the aisle, an emotional Jakes prayed over Sarah and Robert. Then, Kelly Price and Micah Stampley sang the inspirational duet "Our Prayer" by Donnie McClurkin and Yolanda Adams.

The enchanted ceremony was followed by a fairy-tale reception at the Jakes's palatial 28-acre estate. Guests, including Tyler Perry, Dr. Phil McGraw, Deion Sanders, Tom Joyner and wife Donna Richardson Joyner, Paula White, Michael Irvin and Emmit Smith, were on hand for the celebration.

The front lawn of Jakes's home was transformed into an enchanted forest replete with fog, mimes, a string quartet playing in a gazebo, and an ice sculpture of a glass slipper.

Arriving in a Just Married-tagged horse-drawn carriage, the newlyweds were in every sense the evening's Cinderella and Prince Charming. "I really can't take credit for any of this," said Sarah, a broadcast journalism major who graduates next May. "This was all my dad's idea. He even picked out my dress!"

Guests were treated to a buffet-style spread and a performance by singer Carl Thomas. But the night's best performance was the newlyweds' first dance. Surrounded by friends and loved ones, Sarah and Robert only had eyes for each other.

"When I'm having a bad day, all Sarah has to do is smile, and everything is okay," said Robert, an athlete and TCU criminal justice major, who will graduate in December.

Added Sarah: "No matter what's going on, he always does something goofy to make me laugh."

Some fairy tales do come true after all.


Photo Credit: Rance Elgin/www.ranceelgin.com

For more pictures from the ceremony go here

For pictures from the reception go here




Tuesday, August 17, 2010

TODAY'S QOTD: WHY DO YOU REALLY WANT TO GET MARRIED?

A couple days ago, I listed a few things on Twitter that I considered "wrong reasons" for wanting to get married....

If you want to get married because you're almost 30 #wrongreason If you want to get married because your biological clock is ticking #wrongreason
If you want to get married because all of your friends are married #wrongreason
If you want get married because you think the wedding is the marriage #wrongreason

At some point during your single walk, you should do a heart check (a valuable tool that I learned early in my walk). Not only should we know that our desires are in line with the will of God, but our motives behind our desires should be checked as well. We can get dressed to the nines, make ourselves "available" to attract a man, and do all the superficial things we think will snag a husband but if our hearts are in the wrong place, none of that stuff matters. We should be mindful that even concerning marriage, God looks at our hearts (1 Sam. :16:7) and so should we.

Today's QOTD: Why do you really want to get married?






Monday, August 16, 2010

MARRIAGE MONDAY: A HOUSE INTO A HOME

One of the things I don't want to do is go into marriage blindly. God recently opened my eyes to a "blindspot" I had concerning marriage: the reality of adjusting to living with my future husband after marriage. You could say I had a "real deal" moment.

Today, marriage advocate and life coach, *Tangie Henry is going to shed some light on the reality of living together after marriage, blending two lives, and how she and her husband turned their house into a home. Her insight helped me and I know it will be very helpful to you.


How did you make your house a home? For example, what is it about your home that says, "This is the Henry's home"?

Making your house a “home” is a process of a lot of “trial and error.” Oftentimes, couples enter into their marriage with pre-conceived expectations about how their household should be managed, i.e. who does the laundry or who pays the bills, etc. But the best way to have a successful “flow” in your house is to figure out what works best for your house: Not your mama and daddy’s house. For example, both my husband and I lead very busy lives so what makes our house a home is “teamwork” and “understanding.” We both try to accommodate each other so that both of our needs are met collectively and individually.

What adjustments did you have to make to blend your lives together?

We had to adjust our expectations. My husband came from a very traditional background, whereas, I did not. In the beginning of our marriages, I worked hard to fit the traditional mold, but it was very difficult for me and it made me resentful. We had to have a conversation and I had to express to him my true feelings and ask that he love me anyway. As we grew together and began to mature, we developed a groove that works for us. Communication is the key. Without it, your marriage will rot from the inside out. Real talk!

In the beginning, is there something your spouse did that got on your nerves?

Of course! That’s a given. Everybody gets on someone’s nerves at some point. LOL! If it really bothered me and I felt like I couldn’t ignore it, I would bring it up. Most times, however, it wasn’t a deal-breaker and I learned that the reason it got on my nerves was more about me than him. Once I examined myself, the less his behavior bothered me.

What things did you have to compromise on?

The biggest thing that I’ve had to compromise on is the sacrificing of my personal time. A lot of unmarried people, women in particular, think that once they’re married, they’re going to want to be up under their spouses 24-7 and the two of them will do everything together, and so on and so forth. While I think it’s important that the two of you make each other a priority and “date” each other, I think it’s equally important that you have time to cultivate separate activities so that when you do come together, it makes the union more interesting. I’m the kind of person who likes to do what I want to do when I want to do it. LOL! Needless to say that doesn’t work in life and definitely not in marriage. Being married is a continuous exercise in dying to your own selfish ways. So, I’m still learning. (smile)

*What advice would you give to a new couple getting adjusted to living together after marriage, for example, how to approach conflict resolution?

I would recommend that couples be honest about their feelings to one another, not their “Girls,” “The fellas,” or their “Mama.” However, it should be done in the spirit of love. And the other person receiving the information should not take it offensively, but try to understand their spouse’s point of view. All conflict in marriage is not bad. If done constructively, it can lead to a more fulfilled relationship. It takes a lot of work to blend your habits, lifestyle, preferences and idiosyncrasies with another person. Having honest conversations with soften the blow, so to speak.

More advice:

Prior to marriage, allow the natural course of your relationship to unfold. Sometimes we get so focused on attaining the “brass ring” that we skip steps along the way. Putting time on your relationship allows you to go through seasons with the other person and see if they are really someone that you’d like to make a covenant with. I also recommend intensive pre-marital counseling from a qualified third party. Pre-marital counseling will expose areas that you may not have thought to explore. The truth of the matter is that there’s no sure-fire guarantee in any relationship, but you can position yourself so that you can achieve great success in your union.

*Please visit Tangie on her blogs at Marriage Ain't For Wimps and Inspired Sistah.

Friday, August 13, 2010

#FUTUREWIFEFRIDAY

Hello all. It's Friday and you know what that means? It's #FutureWifeFriday on the @The_Future_Wife tweets. Go see what's going on :-)

In honor of #FutureWifeFriday, I would like to congratulate a fabulous Future Wife @KierraSheard on her recent engagement to Pastor Welton Smith IV. Congrats Kierra! Also, much success on your Bold Right Life conference this weekend!







A snapshot of the ring tweeted via Kierra's cousin @InsideJMoss

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

WEDDING WEDNESDAY: GWENETTA & SAM


This is the last of the wedding posts from my former blog. You can kind of say I saved the best for last since this is my cousin's wedding :-) More beautiful weddings and wedding-related posts will be here every Wednesday so stay tuned.

See the pre-ceremony montage and beautiful highlight reel (below) of Gwenetta and Sam's wedding. Jahgon Photography & Design Video did a wonderful job. You can also go to Joie De Vie Weddings & Events, who featured Gwenetta and Sam on their blog.


Tuesday, August 10, 2010

QUESTION OF THE DAY

Ready to chime in? Here's today's QOTD...

What is your definition of a good marriage?

Monday, August 9, 2010

MARRIAGE MONDAY: THE REAL DEAL

Welcome to the first installment of Marriage Mondays. I believe that knowing the realities of marriage is vital in the life of a single person. I think this knowledge is one of the major missing tools and is not often emphasised to single people. I hope that what is shared on Marriage Mondays will be a helpful tool for you. Be sure to check in each week for a new installment.

The Real Deal
One of the things I've learned about marriage is that it is REAL. It's not the fairytale romance that is shown on tv or sang in some love songs. It's not even the dysfunctional unions that seem to be falling apart at the seams everyday.

I didn't always view marriage in that light though. I did used to think it was the fairytale images on tv or what I heard in love songs. I also thought the "bad" parts of marriage were the dysfunctions that I saw as well. But that's not what marriage is.

What I've learned and observed from the married people around me, whose love has lasted, and have said from their own lips: "Marriage is work." And the more and more I look at the marriages that have lasted, the more I understand how true that sentiment is.

Over the years I've learned to appreciate that sentiment in action through the 42 year union of my own parents. I say to myself all the time that I've seen "in sickness and in health, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in good times and bad". They have been through it all.

Of course I won't know for myself the realities of marriage until I take that step. But I'm glad I've been able to see the light. I would hate to take a major step like that with blinders on. An even greater benefit of the light: Seeing the realties of marriage helped me make a more grounded decision on whether I really wanted to get married or not. I do.

To my fellow future wives out there: No matter where you are in your singleness, get to know marriage for yourself. If you don't have an example, find functional, godly couples that can give you a good view of what marriage is all about. But most importantly, get to know what God says about marriage FIRST. Get to know how He intended for marriage to be. Get to know the real deal.

Helpful Resource: Before You Do by TD Jakes

The Future Wife,
Audrey

Thursday, August 5, 2010

TOO POWERFUL NOT TO POST



These are a few things that have been popping up on my time line on Twitter. And since I value words, believe that God hears my heart, and uses things that He knows what will get my attention, all these things struck a major chord with me.

I believe that I am in the "any day now" phase of meeting my future husband. And it means literally what it says: I can meet my future husband any day now. I believe that I am down to the wire, but I will admit, my emotions have been "wired".

Have you ever been at a point of waiting or expecting and you know that you know that you know something is about to happen but for whatever reason it hasn't manifested and you have no idea why? Well, that's where I've been. And I've been asking God, "Ok, what am I supposed to get out of this?"

Enter the tweets...

Here is what I gather: God wants me to know that the man of my dreams will be worth the wait. And, as of today,He's impressed upon my heart, "Audrey, will you be ready for what I'm about to give you?" And after that sank in, it became a statement, a declaration even: "I have to be ready for what God is about to give me."

And as of just a few minutes ago He reminded me: "I want you to know what I'm about to give you comes from ME." God has to get the glory for all of this.

I didn't think I'd have anything else to share until next week but I had to get on and post this. It was too powerful not to.

Until next week (I think lol)

The Future Wife,
Audrey

*Note: Each tweet (above) is linked to its respective Tweet account*

*COMING UP ON THE BLOG*

Hello all. Chronicles will be getting some cool new additions starting next week.

Starting next Monday- "Marriage Mondays"
I think it's imperative that singles understand the realties (good and bad) as we go on our journey toward marriage. Marriage Mondays will include spiritual nuggets from real married couples, blog spotlights about marriage, and more.

Starting next Tuesday- "QOTD" (Question of the Day)
Be ready to chime in with your responses to some honest, thought provoking questions.

And of course there still is Wedding Wednesdays :-)

If you're on Twitter, subscribe to @The_Future_Wife for my tweets and the new #FutureWifeFridays starting next week.

That's all for now.

The Future Wife,
Audrey

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

WEDDING WEDNESDAY: LISA & JUAN

*Another beautiful repost from my former blog....

I'm extra late on this but I'd like to congratulate Lisa Kimmey (now Winans) on her marriage to Juan Winans {Congratulations Lisa!}. Lisa is a member of one of my favorite gospel trios, Out of Eden. Juan is a member of the gospel group, The Winans Phase 2. I saw the news on this site and this one. Check out Juan and Lisa's beautiful photos.







Congratulations again Lisa! May the Lord bless you and Juan's union!