Wednesday, July 28, 2010

FLAWS & ALL: WHAT MY FUTURE HUSBAND IS GETTING

FLAWS...
I'm quirky. I can be sensitive about some things. I don't make hasty decisions (which might drive someone nuts). And in that same vein, I have a tendency to over analyze things. I like my space and quiet time and can get into a "mood" if it's interrupted.

& ALL
On the flip side of that, I'm a very loyal person. I love without question, which makes me trust without question. I don't like unnecessary conflict (I don't avoid it, I just don't like it). I want the best for my relationship. I'm affectionate. I'm a romantic (not hopeless lol, but I am a romantic).

WHAT MY FUTURE HUSBAND WILL BE GETTING
One of the things I said to myself early in my single walk is that I didn't want to bring any baggage into my future marriage. I didn't think it was the responsibility of the man I would one day marry, to deal with my mess and it isn't. Thankfully I can look back and see the difference in what I could have been to someone and who I will be. (Thank heavens God didn't allow me to potentially ruin someone's life because of my old stinkin' self).

No one is going to go into a relationship with everything in place. First of all we're human and second of all, our flaws are the things that help us learn, grow, and keeps us on our knees before God. It's the baggage that we don't deal with that breaks up marriages or even hinders us from having the happy, fulfilling relationships we so desire.

I'm happy to say that my future husband won't be getting any baggage. He will be getting some flaws, but most importantly I want to bless him with my "& all".

What is your future husband getting?

The Future Wife,
Audrey

WEDDING WEDNESDAY: BISHOP JOSEPH WALKER & STEPHANIE HALE (Part 2)

Here are a few images from the wedding...










See more here

WEDDING WEDNESDAY: BISHOP JOSEPH WALKER & STEPHANIE HALE (Part 1)

*Another post from my former blog that I'm reposting*

There are times when a word or a good read can come right on time to help encourage or inspire you. As I go along my journey as a woman who is waiting on God's perfect choice for me, I take to heart words that speak to what I'm looking for in a mate or that gives me hope in expecting God for a genuine godly man. The story of Kellie Williams and her husband is one of those stories. Now, there's another to add: the story of Bishop Joseph Walker and his wife, the former Stephanie Hale.




Bishop Joseph Walker + Stephanie Hale

Bride: Stephaine Hale, MD, 33

Groom: Joseph W. Walker III, 41

Occupations: Stephaine, neonatologist and professor ; Joseph, Bishop

Homebase: Nashville, TN
Wedding Date: May 23, 2009

Wedding Location: Nashville, TN


Success is Nothing . . . Dr. Stephaine Michelle Hale was continuing to rise to the top of her field as a Neonatologist and Instructor of Pediatrics at Harvard Medical School in Boston two years ago. And like many successful Black women over 30, she spent many nights wondering where her special guy was hiding. Hundreds of miles away Joseph Walker, Pastor of the Mount Zion Baptist Church of Nashville, Tennessee, was also ready for love. After healing from his first wife's death from cancer three years before, he was extra careful when it came to dating as a single minister. "I know a lot of women wonder if men can do all the things you dream about, and the answer is yes," he says. "At the right time and the right place God will connect you. Have faith."

When Love Calls. And ladies, cupid can come in all clothing - including a preacher's collar, which Stephaine soon discovered. She thought ‘No Way 'when her minister in Boston said he had a friend he wanted her to meet. The California native was even more taken aback when she discovered it was Joseph, whose church she attended while attending Vanderbilt. "I never met Joseph then, and would not have dated him if I had. That was divine order," she says. Though she was convinced there was no potential with the young preacher, after their first conversation on the phone she was hooked, relying on their daily chats to learn about him instead of Google. "I didn't want to know the Bishop, I needed to know Joseph - the person he is behind closed doors," she says. "This is the person I would be coming home to, not the image."

Answer to My Prayers. Stephaine and Joseph both realized right away they had found their match. "We are intellectual twins," he says. "She was doing fine by herself, and didn't need me to complete her. I'm here to complement." After three months of dating and meeting each other's parents, Joseph showered his special lady with 33 presents for her 33rd birthday - and a marriage proposal. Stephaine belted back "Absolutely" with a twang, and was certain he was her husband from the start. A month before meeting Joseph, she felt God dare her to write down what she wanted in a mate and to then believe it would happen. "As women, we sometimes say what we want, and don't believe it will come to past, thinking our expectations are too high. We have to put it out there and believe." Shortly after meeting Joseph, she stumbled back to her list and realized he fulfilled every one of her wants.

The Preacher's Wife. Joseph's congregation welcomed Stephaine with open arms, and were pleased to see their leader so happy. Even though a wedding is traditionally in the bride's hometown, Stephanie decided to have the wedding in Nashville instead of heading home to Los Angeles. "The church had been there for him during the passing of his wife and was so welcoming to me," she says. "I felt it was important they be a part of our day." The two lovebirds were married by minister John Borders III, who introduced them and enjoyed a lavish ceremony with their church family and loved ones.

Budget Bridal Bite. The Walkers remembered teamwork makes the dream work for their special day, and didn't turn down any offers of assistance. They tapped into the church's thousands of members, who happily volunteered for the rehearsal dinner and other duties. "We're very down to earth people," Joseph says. "I waited on God and he has taken care of everything else."

Source: Essence.com

Sunday, July 25, 2010

YOU CAN'T SKIP A STEP (The Process)

Singleness is a lifestyle. It's the part of your life where you serve God without distraction (1 Corinthians 7:34), get to know yourself, and allow the relationship you have with God to grow while allowing Him be the "man in your life" until He blesses you with an earthly mate.

But if you have a desire to be married, there's another part of your life that I think is necessary and should be incorporated. I call it "the process". Often times I think women try to get married before allowing God to change them for marriage. The process is a step on your way to marriage that I think is vital and can not be skipped.

A woman can't birth a baby without going through the process of the baby being formed in her womb. A cake can't be eaten until it's gone through the process of being baked. A butterfly isn't a butterfly until it goes through the process of metamorphosis. A single woman with a desire to be married isn't prepared for her future husband until she allows God to take her through the process of becoming a help meet.

So what is the process? Glad you asked :-) (Note: I'm taking this from my own experience that I think can be helpful in your walk).

The process is allowing God to take you through the necessary steps, changes and transformations to help prepare you for marriage and your future husband.

What does the process include?
  • Being honest with yourself about yourself (i.e. Am I REALLY ready to get married? Why do I want to get married? Do I want to get married or do I want a wedding? Who would want to marry me?)
  • Understanding that you will need to spend a few days saying no to some things in order to cultivate your relationship with God (i.e. saying no to dating for a while, saying no to going out every week, saying no the favorite tv show or form of entertainment that you enjoy)
  • Releasing the fear that you may never get married if you sacrifice the above. (Here's a little secret: God already knows you want to get married. Your sacrifice is not a signal to him saying, "I don't want to get married." In fact, it's the exact opposite. You're showing Him how much you TRUST Him with every aspect of your life, including your future married life.)
  • Prayer and quiet time (the way you define quiet time may vary. For me, it was shutting everything off every night at a certain time, reading the Word, writing, and praying.)
  • Getting to a place where you totally trust God with your future married life (which I think is the end result of it all)
God took me through every one of these steps and I have not regretted one of them. I believe that when you take the necessary steps to honor God in your single life and trust Him with bringing you and your husband together, you're showing Him how much faith you have in Him (Hebrews 11:6).

The process is one of my heart's desires for the Christian single woman who has a desire to married: that she would do a radical move in her life and fully live out a life pleasing to God, that honors Him while being prepared for her future husband.

Also, understand that this isn't the recipe for getting a husband. This is the process that I think is necessary to go through to help prepare you for your future husband. (Another little secret: Your husband has already been chosen for you. God doesn't have to go out and search for him. But it's necessary that the both of you are ready for each other before you're brought together).

The process is not always easy, but as you go from phase to phase, you will see how your heart has opened up and that God is in His rightful place in your life.

It's something that can not be skipped.

The Future Wife,
Audrey

Feel free to share your comments, thoughts, or questions about this post.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

WEDDING WEDNESDAY: KELLY & HANNIBAL (Part 2)


Former Family Matters star, Kellie Williams was recently wed to Hannibal Jackson on September 5. Their story is so inspiring. If you're single and waiting on God's perfect choice for you, this story will encourage you and will serve as a reminder of how God works in the lives of two people to bring them together. {Note: The part of the story that was so compelling to me is how God changed the heart of this young man and equipped him to persue Kellie}

Yeah, she's pretty. But it takes more than that."
Kellie Williams & Hannibal Jackson
A Spiritual Connection
Hannibal Jackson's patience and good nature was the perfect match for Kellie Williams's creativity and sense of humor.
By Ellen McCarthy
Washington Post Staff Writer
Sunday, October 11, 2009

The night before his Sept. 5 wedding, all of Hannibal Jackson's groomsmen went out on the town. Jackson returned instead to his hotel room, opened his Bible, and bowed his head.

Prayer brought him to this juncture, Jackson believed, so it would be prayer that ushered him through his last night of single life.

In telling the story of how he came to marry Kellie Williams, the actress who played Laura Winslow in the '90s sitcom "Family Matters," Jackson, 33, starts in October 2001. One Sunday he asked to accompany a co-worker named Rob Brown to church -- "and that," he says, "was the day I accepted Jesus Christ as my savior."

Before that point, the Washington native and George Mason University graduate was doing a lot of running around, dating multiple women, hanging out at clubs, spending money as fast as he made it. An older couple at the church took him under their wing and slowly Jackson became more serious about his faith and future, praying to find a wife "after God's own heart," even as he continued to have trouble with commitment.

Williams, who was born in Forestville and began taking acting classes as a preschooler to overcome shyness, had been living in the public eye in Los Angeles for most of her life. The child actor experience is one "that keeps you young for a very long time," says Williams. She didn't have her first boyfriend until 28. Williams, also a devout Christian, loved acting but decided it wasn't enough -- that "it couldn't be my everything."

In 2003 Williams, also 33, returned to the East Coast and established an arts organization for kids, not unlike the one where she had gotten her start.

For years Jackson and Williams had been listening -- separately -- to Rob Brown and another mutual friend talk about setting them up. The chatter had "gone in one ear and out the other," Williams recalls, until an actual meeting was arranged at a party in August 2007.

Williams walked in, saw Jackson, and received all of a head nod by way of a greeting. "So I said, 'Well, forget him,' " recalls the actress.

The guy sitting next to Jackson nearly passed out with excitement when he recognized Williams from "Family Matters." But Jackson, who runs a government contracting company, had never been a fan of the show; it aired on Friday nights when he was playing football and chasing girls at the mall. "I said, 'Yeah, she's pretty,' " he remembers. "But it takes more than that."


The two did eventually slip into conversation and at the end of the night Jackson asked for her number. A few days later they went jogging. Then there was a trip to Kings Dominion, a Sunday morning at church, a dinner out. They spent more and more time hanging out in person and talking on the phone.

During one such conversation, Williams told Jackson where she stood: "I said, 'You're either my boyfriend, or this is the last time we're going to talk.' " That proclamation came exactly two weeks after they met. "All my friends said the same thing -- 'I can't believe you said that!' " she admits. "But I don't have time to be playing games with people."

In truth, Williams had always envisioned herself as a happy spinster. Marriage was never in her designs, but neither were fleeting relationships that would leave her feeling used.

"I've been treated well by men," she explains. "So I know what I want."

Jackson was stunned by the ultimatum and momentarily flabbergasted. Once he regained his composure and assented, he admitted it was "somewhat of a relief to find a woman who said, 'This is what I want.' "

Williams brought creativity and laughter into his life and within six months Jackson knew what he wanted: to get married.

Now it was Williams's turn to hesitate. The free-spirited artist liked being single -- living by her own whims, flying to Paris at a moment's notice if she felt like it. The prospect of marriage brought on visions of suffocation, especially to a man like Jackson, a logic-driven former military reservist who expected her to show up at 5:45 if they'd agreed to meet somewhere at 6.

"I thought it would kill me -- literally -- if I didn't have the ability to be all over the place," she says. "I thought I would die."

Williams frequently panicked, asking question after question about what life would be like if they married. "I think it helped that I was patient," he says. "I could see that there was some hurt preventing me from getting into her heart the way I wanted to. . . . But I just kept loving her."

After her car broke down and Williams found herself calling Jackson for help, rather than her father, she realized the man she affectionately calls "a square" had already rooted himself in her heart. "I thought about life as a whole and thought, 'What a great person to go along this journey with,' " she says. "I thought, 'I wouldn't want to miss this.' "

When he proposed after 10 months of dating, she said yes. "Because it's a miracle," she explains. "It's not a fairy tale. It's a real guy who's just a great guy."

More than 300 friends and family members, including Williams's former castmate Telma Hopkins, squeezed into the Ebenezer AME Church in Fort Washington to watch the couple wed. Their spiritual mentors were seated in the front pews with their parents, and Williams's Los Angeles pastor, Kenneth C. Ulmer, flew in to be one of the officiants.

At the sight of his bride, Jackson was overcome and began to cry.

"It was something I had prayed for for so long," he said.

WEDDING WEDNESDAY: KELLY & HANNIBAL (Part 1)

Here is another beautiful love story taken from my former blog. First, a few engagement pictures (their story in the next post), of the former Kellie Williams and her (now) hubby Hannibal Jackson. You can see Kellie and Hannibal's wedding site here.









Thursday, July 15, 2010

WHO DO YOU BELIEVE?

If you go by the latest reports concerning single women (single black women in particular), according to them, your chances of getting married are slim to none. As you go along in your single journey, it's important that you keep your eyes focused on the One who has known the story of your love life before you were even created. The statistics are not God. The reports are not God. Even the close girlfriends you may hang out with who believe the statistics and reports are not God. If you are allowing anything other than what God says to be the final authority over your future married life, it's time to let it go. Here are some things that may help:

  • Stop reading and BELIEVING the reports and statistics or any other "source" that contradicts your desire to be married. (Isaiah 55:9)
  • Let God's Word be your anchor. (Jeremiah 29:11, Proverbs 3:5)
  • Read things that uplift marriage and good men (yes, they are out there). >>>Your future husband is looking for you. (Proverbs 18:22)
  • Be mindful of the company you keep. (Psalm 1: 1-3)
Stay encouraged as you go along this journey. It's not always easy waiting or even believing God for your future husband, but as long as He's put that desire on your heart or made that promise to you, your love story is already signed, sealed, and delivered no matter what anyone says. BELIEVE IT.

Have a safe and happy weekend.

The Future Wife,
Audrey



Wednesday, July 14, 2010

WEDDING WEDNESDAY: DARRYL & TIFFANY

Here is another post that was on my previous blog that I think is relevant to this one. I dream of my wedding day as I'm sure a lot of future wives do. It's especially encouraging to see relationships who have Christ at the center of their union. See the beautiful love story of NFL player Darryl Tapp and Tiffany Robinson. Their engagement and wedding pics are just gorgeous (pics: Keith Cephus Photography).

(Story credit: Essence)

Sent From Heaven
Darryl and Tiffany both made lists of the qualities they wanted their ideal mates to possess and prayed for God to help them find the ones they were looking for. On a sunny June afternoon, at a church cook out, God brought them to each other.

"I prayed for a man who loves God, who's respectful, who's hard-working, who's diligent, who's caring and that's everything that Darryl is" Tiffany says.

"When I got out of my last relationship, I saw the things that I didn't want," Darryl says. "So I made a list and prayed for a God-fearing woman who's athletic and has a strong family background--and I found her."

Second Chances
Darryl says that the first time he tried to kiss Tiffany, on their third date, she missed his signal and went in for a bear hug instead. The next time they hung out, the footballer made sure she caught his pass.

"I didn't miss the alley-oop that time," Tiffany remembers. "Our first kiss was pretty magical."

The Morning After
After months of hinting to Darryl for a ring, Tiffany thought her boyfriend was ready to pop the question on Valentine's Day. She wasn't entirely right. Darryl flew Tiffany first class from Seattle to his homestate, Virginia, and drove her to the W Hotel in Virginia Beach. On the night of February 14, after a
spaappointment, a new dress, a four-course dinner and a comedy show, Tiffany expected a ring for the grand finale, but the evening ended without the bang she had hoped for.

"I guess my hopes were up," Tiffany says. "He squashed them."

The next morning, as they were checking out of their hotel suite, Darryl asked a hotel employee to take their photo, before Tiffany could say, "Cheese!," Darryl was down on one knee.

"He gets down on one knee and says a whole bunch of stuff that I don't think I even heard and then he said, 'Will you be my wife?'"

They got engaged on February 15.


Tuesday, July 13, 2010

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING ON?

My friend and I had a wonderful conversation the other day about the direction our single lives were taking. There was a specific part of our conversation that took over the entire conversation. Her main concern was at this point in our single walk, what were we waiting for?

We couldn't think of anything.

There was a moment's pause after going over all of the things we've both done in our single lives. Then God, in His infinite wisdom, turned the light bulb on for the both of us. He had me share one of the things He revealed to me recently about waiting for my husband. That is, in order to know what you're waiting for, you have to know what you're waiting on.

That struck a major cord!

The general idea for most single women is "I'm waiting for God to send me a husband". Well that could be anybody right? I mean, you are waiting for a husband, but more importantly, you're waiting on your husband, a man that God has carved out specifically for you.

Then my friend shared how a co-worker of hers wrote down the things she wanted in a husband. She said when her co-worker met her husband, he was everything she'd written down and far exceeded it.

We decided to do the same thing.

We didn't write out the infamous "list" that so many single women have done. These "lists" tend to be superficial and unrealistic. No, we wrote the things that we truly desired, both personal and spiritual. For example, one of the qualities that I want in my husband is that he introduces me to new things. Spiritually, one of the things I desire is that my husband and I grow together.

After my friend and I finished writing down the qualities, we knew that what we desired was from God. Her desires are different from mine and in some areas they are the same. But we know that the things we desire in our future husbands are specific to our hearts.

What are some things that you desire in your husband? Get out some paper and a pen. Write out the things that your heart truly desires both personally and spiritually. And don't think what you desire is too quirky or frivolous (as I did when I started). Those are going to be the things that are specific to your heart and what will help you identify your husband when he comes into your life.

Remember: in order for you to know what you're waiting for, you have to know what you're waiting on.

I'd love to hear some of the things you desire in your husband. (Note: There are some things that you should keep personal because it's between you and God). Whatever you feel comfortable with sharing, please share.

Blessings.

The Future Wife,
Audrey

Thursday, July 8, 2010

THE FUTURE WIFE DEFINED

Good Afternoon :-) How are you today? Part of me revamping the blog is sharing some of my former posts that are relevant to Chronicles. One of those posts (and one of my favorites) is the one below {"The Future Wife Defined"}. I wrote it at a time when I had finally grasped what a future wife really is. I figured it was worth reposting :-)

God Bless.

The Future Wife,
Audrey



Sooo what exactly is a future wife? Well, I define it as a woman who has a God-given desire to be married, has lived out the portion of her single life according to 1 Cor. 7:34, and is in the position to receive the man that God has for her.

The term "future wife" is also a double entendre. Some women are future wives in the since that she's in the first stages of singleness and meeting God's perfect choice for her is in the distant future (as she needs to prepared on a personal level and prepared for her mate as well). The second is what I defined above.

In any case, a future wife is a future wife no matter what stage of her walk she's in.

So how do you know if you're a future wife? The biggest factor is that you have a God-given desire to be married (Note: All women don't have this desire). Your desire is bigger than a wedding, bigger than a ring, bigger than the fantasy of someone riding in on a white horse, sweeping you off your feet. But it's the desire to be a true helpmate as Eve was to Adam.

Here are my thoughts on future wife status:
  • Every woman is not a wife. It takes more than being a woman to be a wife.
  • A wife is a wife before she walks down the aisle (this is where desire and preparation come in to play)
  • A man that has a God given desire to be married is looking for a wife, not just a woman. And vice versa. A woman with a God given desire to be married is waiting on a husband, not just a man.
  • Being a wife is something that's in your heart. It's not just a status symbol or a label you wear.
  • You have to be single before you're married (have you kissed dating goodbye?) God is not going to put anything/anyone in your life that has the potential to come before Him. Your relationship with anyone starts with Him. {I will expound more on kissing dating goodbye}.
  • Every woman who has a desire to be married DESERVES to give herself a chance to be married.
I've found these qualities to resonate with me as I've been on my journey, or things that I've pondered or realized as I've grown in my singleness.
Feel free to share your thoughts on this post. Are you in the first stages of living out your single life? Have you made the decision to give yourself a chance to be married? Are you waiting with expectation on your husband? If so, I'd love to hear from you.

That's all I have for now.

-Audrey-

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

REVAMPING, CLEAN SLATES, NEW JOURNEY

Good Day. Well, I'm in the midst of revamping the blog so I can start with a clean slate. I believe that God has placed me on a new level in my singleness and I want to share and chronicle that journey.

I was single with a desire (to be married) for quite a while, but now I'm ready. Ready to take the next step in believing God for the man He has for me, ready to accept the reality that what I've been praying for is actually going to happen, and ready to settle into the truth that I'm ready to be a wife.

I'm not sure how long it will be before God places me and my future husband together --as I say-- at the right place and at the right time. But I look forward to sharing all of the emotions, hopes, dreams, prayers, ups, and some downs of my journey right here on the blog.

This is an exciting time for me. I believe that now more than ever I'm closer to meeting the man of my dreams. The one I've prayed for, hoped for, and believed for. It's all just a matter of time.

So come with me as I share with you, Chronicles of a Future Wife.

Note: I'm still getting things set up but I will be officially up and running real soon.

The Future Wife,
Audrey

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

STAY TUNED

Major changes going on around here. Chronicles will be back, up and running real soon. Stay tuned.