Friday, November 26, 2010


Hello's what's coming up on Chronicles...

Look out for the new installment on the blog called Chronicles. I realize that I haven't shared much about my journey yet (lol) and that's one of the main purposes of the blog. My Chronicles posts will periodically update you on where I am in my singleness. I'm also going to share posts from an online journal I had when I was a member of Chocolate Brides. You'll get to see first hand my thoughts, feelings, and insights before I considered myself a future wife (See below an excerpt from the intro of my journal).

That's all I have for now. I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Have a great and safe weekend.

(taken from my online journal titled Ring Worthy, August 20, 2008)

I titled this J "Ring Worthy", well, because I am. I'm worthy of a man who will one day be so moved by wanting me to be his life partner, that he seeks God in every way to make that happen: from prayer, to daily contemplation, to wise counsel, to sound advice, to knowing in his heart that this is what he wants, to finally taking the step to make that big purchase.

Like everyone here, most of my j's are an indication of where I am at a particular point in my life. And right now, this is where I am. Knowing that I'm worthy of all that was said above. Plus it's helping me to move beyond what I've gone through and to know that beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am Ring Worthy.

P.S. I know that it's not about the ring, but when a man has gone through the process of what I mentioned above, and has decided to take that final step to purchasing the ring, that is very significant to me.

{Special Note: I'd like to thank Chocolate Brides for providing a place where I could share my inner most thoughts on my single journey.}

Monday, November 15, 2010


Hello everyone...I will be back on the blog soon. My mom had a setback yesterday (she recently had a lung transplant) so I'll be taking care of things on that end. She's doing well today. Her vitals are normal and oxygen level is back in range. My family and I are watching God's wonderful working power.

God willing, I'll be back once things are settled.

God Bless,

Friday, November 5, 2010


Hey's Friday and I thought I'd have a little fun. I'm a big fan of having girls night out or a me night out as part of a woman's single walk. And of course in both instances, the question is always, "What will I wear?" Well, I had a little fun putting an ensemble together of what I might wear on a night out with my girls or even if I decided to take myself out somewhere.

My dress style is more laid back and casual. Nice shoes and a nice purse are must-haves :-) Check out my little ensemble below (with commentary lol). Have a great weekend. Go have some fun with your girls or why not take yourself out? Be safe and God bless.

A Night Out
The Ensemble
Top- I chose a gray short sleeved top with a ruched v-neck
Bottoms- Jeans (couldn't find any suitable dark or faded gray jeans so the blue will work)
Shoes- I'm always down for a heel and keeping with the season I chose a cute, short boot. Buuuut heels aren't always practical so the plan B would be the nice flat boots
Bag- The purse is much like the one I carry now except mine is brown
Accessories- I thought silver or black hoops would be fine with this laid back ensemble
Outer wear- Since I'm in Florida, it's not really cold so a light jacket would suffice (I really like the way that one wraps just above the waist). And sometimes places like movie theaters and restaurants are a little chilly so it's good to have something with you to put on if you get cold.

The Face
Foundation- I don't wear make up often but when I do, it's usually simple, starting with a good foundation.
Shadow- I thought a nice silver shadow would nicely complement the color scheme of the whole look
Liner- I don't wear this a lot either but I thought it would look good on the eye for this occasion
Lips- I'm always good to go with a clear gloss

The Nails
Color- I like dark colors on my nails so I chose a nice charcoal gray

I hope you enjoyed today's post :-) I may have another ensemble next week. Let me know what you think and what you'd wear on a night out with your girls or yourself.


Thursday, November 4, 2010


God has sent some amazing people my way to feature and today's Featured Future Wife is no exception. She has a light that shines brightly, a constant joy, and (one of her attributes that stuck out to me) a very positive outlook on her single life and how she's waiting on her future husband. I attribute all of these characteristics to the Christ that lives on the inside of her. I'll let you see for yourself.

Meet Shenina.

Name: Shenina Brown
Age: 26
Occupation: DESIRE MORE Naturals, LLC (founder/owner/operator)
Hometown: Greenville, MS
Church: New Direction Christian Church

What do you like to do in your spare time?

Besides going to church and worshipping God with other believers, I absolutely LOVE to encourage, motivate, and empower everyone...from the oldest man at the corner store to the youngest little girl in elementary school. I am a very big ENCOURAGER and want everyone to know just how powerful and strong they really are! I also love to dine in at various restaurants, shop, give advice, sing, act silly, laugh, watch reality t.v shows, spend quality time with family, travel, creatively work with my hands making programs, brochures, flyers, inviations, etc., and MUCH more!

What is your favorite scripture?

Hmmm, only ONE?? Lol! If I had to choose just one, it would be ROMANS 8:28- "FOR GOD CAUSES ALL THINGS TO WORK TOGETHER FOR THE GOOD OF THEM WHO LOVE GOD AND ARE CALLED ACCORDING TO HIS PURPOSE FOR THEM." The reason why I pick this scripture as my favorite is because it sums up my walk with God completely! Though I sometimes get criticized and talked about for trying to live a life that is pleasing to God, and though I sometimes struggle with thinking if the things I do and choices I make concerning God are within his will, I can ALWAYS refer back to this scripture and rest assured that EVERYTHING done for uplifting the Kindgdom of God will be all worth it in the end!

What does the term future wife mean to you?

Uh oh now! Lol! FUTURE WIFE to me is simply a lady who has a DESIRE and the ANNOINTING to be who God wants her to be for a man, who in turn also wants to be joined together by God with her forever. A future wife is one that is yet preparing herself to be who God desires her to be through prayer, meditation, education, and obedience. It doesn't mean "perfection", but it does mean "preparation" to be the woman God has ordained you(me) to be for your(my) husband. She is truly a Proverbs 31 woman and then some with a bag of chips and soda on the side! Oh yeah, throw in a Ring Pop too! LOL!

How would you best describe where you are in your single walk right now?

Right now, I am at a place of contentment. I'm content knowing that God has my front, back, and sides! He has heard my prayers & knows exactly what it is that I want, so this gives me the assurance and strength to continue waiting. It's a difference when you just "wait" as opposed to "waiting" PATIENTLY, which is what I'm doing now. I DESIRE to become a wife and mother one day, therefore, to be granted that desire, I will continue to wait no matter how long it takes until God sees fit for my husband and I to find eachother. Right now, I'm focusing on getting "self" together as well so that I can be the woman my husband has been praying and seeking God's face for!!! I also surround myself around positive people and activities to take my mind off of being "single". I'm still a work in progress, but in due time, all shall be WELL worth the wait!

It's good that you recognize a key component in waiting for your husband--patience. How do you think "jumping the gun" and not waiting on God could affect the destiny you have with your future husband?

With all due respect, "jumping the gun", in my opinion, is a big no-no! I know first hand how it feels to be sometimes lonely and anxious, especially during this single walk. That's why it's even more important for us to remain in tune with God and what he's trying to tell & show us! Because some ladies feel vulnerable and are so ready to get married, they tend to do so prematurely only with divorce being the end result before the 5 year anniversary. It's funny that you ask this question because one day while sitting in my girlfriend's living room, we were talking about relationships. God clearly spoke to me and said: THOUGH NO ONE IS PERFECT BUT ME, IF YOU CHOOSE TO WAIT PATIENTLY, I WILL SEND YOU THE CLOSEST THING (MAN) TO PERFECTION! I was absolutely blown away, and that has stuck with me ever since. When we jump the gun, we as ladies, sometimes find ourselves in abusive relationships, victims of adultery, and even sometimes suicidal because of everything that is going on. We then blame it on God because we don't understand why he allowed all of this to go on. He certainly doesn't "like" to see us go through difficult times, but because we decided to do what "we" wanted to do instead of waiting upon and consulting with God FIRST before talking to Pookie, lol, we would have known that he wasn't for us to begin with and could have avoided alot of heartache and pain! But when you WAIT on God to send not just a husband, but YOUR husband, he will make sure that he is all you ever need and then some! What God has for ME, it is for ME...and what God has for YOU, it is for YOU!- Believe that and continue to wait PATIENTLY on the husband that God has for you!

I love to see single women of God being productive and not just waiting, doing nothing. What are some of the things you've accomplished in your personal life?

Lol, I definitely agree! Some of the things I've accomplished in my personal life are graduating from undergraduate and graduate school (at which I now hold a Bachelor of Science degree in Biology and a Masters in Health Services Administration), and stepping out on faith by opening my own business, DESIRE MORE Naturals. I consider what I've done recently (within the last 5 years) to be the big things I've accomplished. Though the aforementioned things are great, nothing compares to getting to know Christ better, which I consider the BIGGEST accomplishment of all! Instead of waiting around doing nothing, I try my best to occupy my time encouraging, motivating, and empowering all people from all walks of life. I am also trying to become more actively involved in my community and volunteer projects to help give back. For it's not just about me, but it's all about uplifting & building the Kingdom of God!

You are a great encourager. What would you say to a single woman who may not appreciate this single season in her life? How could she achieve contentment?

Oooo weee, what a great question! Lol! I would tell a single woman to enjoy this season she is going through because it will only come once. Though having a husband will be nice, he should not complete you. It is important to be whole BEFORE you connect with your husband. When he comes along, he's going to demand most of your attention and time, and by you being his wife, you are obligated to give it to him. While we still have time, we must continue to focus on God and be obedient to him. I would also tell a single lady that she could achieve contentment with getting to know who "she" is all over again, becoming involved in things she believes in, and finding out things about herself that she doesn't like and then fixing them. It is vital that she learn to love "self" and live successfully single first. Take yourself out on a date, to the movies, or a nice restaurant BEFORE he does, that way you'll be content in knowing that before "he" did, "you" did! Remember that in each season we go through, God speaks to us and there is something he needs us to learn. Don't miss what he is telling you because you are "anxious". The day and time are coming when God will unite you with your husband. Until then, enjoy being by yourself, do things to better self, and continue to not just wait, but PATIENTLY wait for YOUR husband!

Visit Shenina's Desire More Naturals' website

Wednesday, November 3, 2010


Having a great photographer is on my dream wedding must-have list. It's probably neck and neck with my dress lol, which means I'm very serious about who captures my big day. But before the big day is captured, I've always dreamed of having engagement pictures taken (I'm serious about those too lol).

I'm not sure when I came across Bedazzled Photography. All I know is when I saw the first picture (in the set of pictures below) I literally gasped. Maybe it was because it captured the exact feel of how I'd like my engagement photos to look one day. Whatever the case, I literally looked through the entire blog after looking at the picture.

For today's Wedding Wednesday, I'm featuring Bedazzled Photography. Take a look at some of my favorite shots. A very special thank you to *Ayesha for allowing me to use her wonderful images.

Doyin & Ralph's Engagement Session

*To see more of Ayesha's great photography go to Bedazzled Photography
*To see more from the above engagement session go here

Monday, November 1, 2010


I don't want any of my readers to ever think that they "can't" get married or are "unworthy" of marriage --for whatever reason-- if they have the desire. That's why I was so eager to post today's feature. Her story is filled with hope, faith, and triumph.

I describe her as a "victim to a victor". From an early childhood of abuse to a mighty woman of God, and a loving wife, her story is an inspiring example of "I know the plans I have for you." Today Lady LaWanda Engleman shares her story.

Can you share a little about the unfortunate incidents that happened early in your life?

When I was a child (around the age of 10) I began being molested by a couple of my male family members. This continued until I was 16 years old. At the age of 16 I was raped by a friend of my brother's that I was supposedly 'dating'. Mind you I was way too young to be calling myself dating. I had NO IDEA what I'd gotten myself into.I don't ever remember being threatened not to tell, but I never told anyone until I was 20 years old. I felt alone and ashamed that I 'allowed' myself to be touched without fighting back. I never had a close relationship with my mother (as I got older I realized that she was dealing with so much in her life that she really couldn't avail herself to help me) and my father passed away when I was 9.

How did that affect you as a woman and your relationship with God?

I felt that God had abandoned me. I have been saved since the age of 11. I ran to the church; so I thought; because I was being molested and I needed help. I thought that if I turned my life over to God that it would stop and he would protect me. When the molestation continued, I blamed God. I felt that He didn't love me and wanted me to be hurt, but on the flip side I had this 'wierd' longing to serve the Lord. I'd grown up seeing and hearing my mother pray and became a warrior in prayer. Through prayer I was introduced to worship and couldn't pull myself away from wanting to be in the presence of God as much as I could. It became my solace. I would go through 'seasons' of hurt where I'd feel far from God, but would never backslide because I so wanted to be pleasing in His sight.

Did it effect your relationship with men?

In the beginning I was very introverted. I was afraid of any type of relationship. I felt that everyone was just out to get something from me and I was so timid that normallly I'd give whatever they wanted whether it hurted or not. I would date guys just because they wanted to date me and although I never carried on a sexual relationship with these men, I was very subservient. I never wanted to go against anything they said or wanted for fear that they would leave me or wouldn't love me. These events caused me to have a distored sense of what love and relationship meant.~ Looking for Love in ALL the wrong places.

What steps did you take to overcome your past?

As I grew in the Lord I had a desire to be free. I grew up strict apostolic. We were never taught to talk about our fears, hurts, or failings...just to 'turn it over the Lord'. Although, this thinking did help me to create a prayer life and a relationship with the Lord, I was still hurting in so many other ways. I was in a prayer revival at my church and I began to cry out to the Lord because I wanted to be free from the memories and all that tied me to these memories. God began to open up to me what it meant to have strongholds and how the unfortunate events in my life tied me to these memories and hurts; until I released those things I would never be free. I'd learned how to supress the memories and live over the memories, but I didn't know how to release them and live through them! God revealed to me the enemies' design to have these issues to take root in me so that I could never be free! How, although I didn't ask for it or condone it, spirits had attached to me unaware and I NEEDED to seek guidance for deliverance. I went to pastors, friends and anyone that would listen until finally God lead me to a Christian Counselor that helped me sort through my issues enough to be delivered and set free! It took many deliverance sessions before I could say that I was finally free. I do still remember everything that happened to me vividly, but these memories are no longer tied to pain. I am now able to speak out without tears or feeling one ounce of bitterness - PRAISE GOD! Many people don't understand that ANY type of sex TIES you to the person that you've been with. Whatever issues and 'demons' they deal with become your issues and 'demons'. It is severly important that we as women understand this. Whever consentual or non-consentual, you are tied to them in oneness until GOD sets you free. YOU MUST SEEK FOR THIS FREEDOM!

How did you share your past with your husband?

Before my husband and I were married I'd noticed behaviors from myself. I was drawn to him sexually way before I ever should have been! As a matter of fact as I got older I'd notice that I was much more interested in anything sexual much more than I should have been. The seeds that were sown into me by the enemy had begun to take root and began to sprout! I had no idea where the feelings and emotions were coming from, but noticed that they were there. During our courtship I found myself in a season with the Lord where I'd began to feel far from Him. I'd started yielding to my own wants and desires more that the wants and desires of the Lord! But, Audrey...I had NO IDEA why! Being the man of God that my husband was, he could sense that there was something going on, but didn't know what. After we were married there were many nights I'd wake up afraid at the touches and advances from my husband. I was afraid to sleep around him becasue of the memory of my 'midnight troubles'. I didn't tell my husband right away. I just didn't know how to tell him. I was afraid of what he would think of me and if he would feel that I was 'spoiled' and wouldn't want me anymore. My husband 'loved' me into revealing to him my hurts and pains. He sowed into me the seeds of unconditional love until the point that I felt safe enough to reveal my past to him.

What would you say to someone reading this who's gone through what you went through and may think they aren't "worthy" of getting married?

What God has for YOU it IS for YOU! No man can ever take away a promise from the Lord! We aren't worthy of anything if you really want to know my opinion, but we are BLESSED that God sees fit to call us friend and grant to us his grace and mercy making us worthy or EVERY promise and desire of our heart! Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. (Psalms 37:4) But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. (Matt. 6:33)

LaWanda will be sharing her story in her upcoming book Excerpts From the Heart: This is my story set to be released this month.

You can visit her blog at Lady Engleman