Monday, August 9, 2010


Welcome to the first installment of Marriage Mondays. I believe that knowing the realities of marriage is vital in the life of a single person. I think this knowledge is one of the major missing tools and is not often emphasised to single people. I hope that what is shared on Marriage Mondays will be a helpful tool for you. Be sure to check in each week for a new installment.

The Real Deal
One of the things I've learned about marriage is that it is REAL. It's not the fairytale romance that is shown on tv or sang in some love songs. It's not even the dysfunctional unions that seem to be falling apart at the seams everyday.

I didn't always view marriage in that light though. I did used to think it was the fairytale images on tv or what I heard in love songs. I also thought the "bad" parts of marriage were the dysfunctions that I saw as well. But that's not what marriage is.

What I've learned and observed from the married people around me, whose love has lasted, and have said from their own lips: "Marriage is work." And the more and more I look at the marriages that have lasted, the more I understand how true that sentiment is.

Over the years I've learned to appreciate that sentiment in action through the 42 year union of my own parents. I say to myself all the time that I've seen "in sickness and in health, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in good times and bad". They have been through it all.

Of course I won't know for myself the realities of marriage until I take that step. But I'm glad I've been able to see the light. I would hate to take a major step like that with blinders on. An even greater benefit of the light: Seeing the realties of marriage helped me make a more grounded decision on whether I really wanted to get married or not. I do.

To my fellow future wives out there: No matter where you are in your singleness, get to know marriage for yourself. If you don't have an example, find functional, godly couples that can give you a good view of what marriage is all about. But most importantly, get to know what God says about marriage FIRST. Get to know how He intended for marriage to be. Get to know the real deal.

Helpful Resource: Before You Do by TD Jakes

The Future Wife,

1 comment:

  1. Truer words have never been said. Good marriage = hard work. On top knowing God's expectations for your marriage, you both need to verbalize to each other what each person's expectations are for the other and determine what is realistic. Unrealistic expectations led a lot of people to divorce court.