THE SINGLE LIFE: TAKING INVENTORY

Hello everyone :-) Welcome to the end of another week. I hope that it was a good week for you. As I mentioned, I would be sharing a post with you today. Here is a question for you: Do you take inventory of your single life?

As we go through our day-to-day lives, we are often focused on taking care of things such as work, church, family, etc...and sometimes we may overlook taking care of ourselves. When we do finally get a moment to take care of ourselves, we often concentrate on getting pampered or hanging out with friends, which are both great and should be done, but do we ever take the time to take care of something that we may not realize is in desperate need of attention: our singleness? 

I know the thoughts may be, "Take care of my singleness? I'm reminded of it everyday" or "My singleness needs attention? Tell that to my family and friends who keep asking me why I'm single." 

In this case, I mean paying attention to more than just your status as a single person, but caring for your life as a single person. I believe that sometimes this is why some singles have questions about their lives as it pertains to marriage. Have you really taken stock of your singleness? Are you putting the cart (marriage) before the horse (singleness)? Are you placing more emphasis on finding a mate, than pursuing your goals and dreams? These are just a few things that I think will be helpful in taking care of and appreciating our single lives.

I know that Chronicles is dedicated to encouraging single women who desire to be married, but I believe that if we aren't cultivating our single lives, we won't be adequately prepared to take the next step to marriage. 

This weekend, or at some point, take some time out for you and take stock of your single life. You may be amazed at what you may need to add to, re-stock or remove from your inventory. Below are questions to help you get started. Be sure to print out the questions so you can begin your inventory. Also, pass this on any singles that you know.

SINGLENESS INVENTORY:

-If I could describe my single life in one word, it would be:

-Are there things that I need to work on as a single person? If so, list them/it.

-Do I ever take a moment to just be with  me? If so, what are the benefits? If not, why?

-Do I spend time with the Lord? If yes, what are the benefits? If no, why?

-Do I ever take inventory of my single life? If yes, how has it helped cultivate my single life? If no, why not?

-Am I allowing anything to influence my views on singleness (i.e. what I watch, who I hang around, what I listen to)?

-Who do I allow to define my singleness? [Note: Sometimes we allow others to define our single lives, mainly, when we should get married. What do you say about your single life? Not just about marriage, about anything?]

-Do I live my single life according to what the world says or what God (the Word) says? 

-Does my singleness revolve around finding a man? If yes, explain. If no, explain.

-Am I involved in any activities (hobby, my community, exercise, etc...) If so, what are the benefits? If not, what activity would I like to become involved in?

-How am I serving God? 

-Do I hang around like-minded people?

-Am I willing to let go of any toxic people in my life? If yes, how will I do it? If no, why?

-Am I currently in a relationship that I know is not healthy for me? If no, what are some things that I do to help discern unhealthy relationships? If yes, why?

-Am I inviting sin into my life (i.e. gossiping, lying, sleeping with someone who is not my husband, etc...)?

-Do I have hopes, dreams, and goals? If yes, list them. If no, why not?

-Am I pursuing my hopes, dreams, and goals? If yes, what steps did I take to get there? :-) If no, why not?

APPLICATION:

Make a decision to accomplish one thing that you have not taken care of in your inventory above. (Some things take longer than others, but taking the first step is what counts.)

PRAYER:

Lord, thank you for the gift of singleness. Thank you for allowing me this time to serve You, take care of myself, and use this time to grow into the person that You would have me to be. Lord, help me to pay attention to, and take inventory of my single life when it is needed. I want to honor You and appreciate this time that You have carved out specifically for me. In Jesus' name. Amen.

HELPFUL SCRIPTURES:

1 Corinthians 7:32-34; Psalm 1:1-3, Matthew 11:28-30; Philippians 4:6-6; Philippians 4:11

Have an awesome weekend :-)

HAPPY, SAFE, AND BLESSED WEEKEND

Hello everyone :-) I just wanted to send a little something out to wish you a happy, safe, and blessed weekend.  I'm thankful to all of you who were here for my return to Chronicles this week, and especially thankful for you reading this week's posts. Look out for a new post next week (I'll give a heads up before it's posted). Have a happy, safe, and blessed weekend.

-Audrey-

FEATURED FUTURE HUSBAND: BRANDON MOORE

I have really enjoyed sharing Kwinetta and Brandon's proposal story this week, and featuring Kwinetta in the Future Wife series. Today we get to hear from Brandon, who is being featured in Chronicles' Future Husband series. Very rarely do we get to hear the male's perspective on marriage, specifically, when they are preparing to walk down the aisle. Today, you will get a chance to hear from a Future Husband who is preparing to walk down the aisle with love in his heart and Christ at the center of it all. Get ready to,once again, be inspired, encouraged, and blessed.

Meet Brandon.

Brandon Moore

Wedding Date: September 26, 2015

Engaged to: Kwinetta Murray

Wedsite: www.themooremovement.com 

What was your first impression of Kwinetta?

My first impression of Kwinetta would have to be that she was a WOMAN. Upon meeting her, I was impressed that she knew exactly what she wanted in life and that she knew what the epitome of being a woman who exemplified much strength. Also I thought she was simply beautiful.

Were you thinking about marriage prior to meeting her?

Prior to meeting Kwinetta, I was in a relationship of two years and was getting prepared to propose to that young lady but as we can see, that didn't go as planned. So when Kwinetta and I started dating, there was this one time in which I knew without having any other thoughts in my mind that Kwinetta was my wife.

Did you ask Kwinetta's parents for her hand in marriage? If so, how did they receive you?

This question is fairly interesting. Before I officially met Kwinetta, I actually met her parents. I was the guest moderator for a service that a mutual friend of ours was having at their church. So I remember that service going very well. Afterwards, I was greeting her mother and she looks at me at that moment and says that you are my daughter’s husband. I was like OMG. I did ask her father for her hand in marriage. I was super nervous about it. He gave me a little comfort by telling me that I didn't have to be nervous because he approved in me being her husband and that he has always claimed me as his son. So that was a very smooth conversation between he and I.

Take us through the day of the proposal. Were you nervous? How did you prepare?

On the day of the proposal, it was actually Kwinetta’s 26th birthday. Although her week leading up to her birthday was very rough, the end result was worth it. Kwinetta had a concert on her birthday and so we wanted to make sure that she had everything that she needed. We had breakfast and went to the mall to pick up a few items and then had lunch and then it was time to prepare for the concert. I was a little late but when I got there, everything was going so smoothly. So I had to speak on the program, and I had a video presentation prepared for her of friends that could not make it to the concert wishing her a happy birthday and then some slides compiled of pics and words that led to the proposal. I popped the big question while everyone was recording and she said yes.

What are some things you think a man should have in place prior to getting married? 

I would definitely say money. It’s very important. The most important thing to me is communication. I believe communication has to be apart of the central focus prior to being married.  If a wife is not happy, the FIRST action on her part should be to talk to the husband (and vice versa). The only way to do this consistently is to talk; not yell, not argue, but talk like civilized people. If you become enraged every time your spouse tries to talk to you, you are pushing away an opportunity to fix a problem. Take time out and actually LISTEN. Marriage is not an argument or a punishment unless you make it one.

Do you have a support system of men around you for prayer, counsel, etc..., as you take your journey toward marriage? How have they helped?

I have a pretty good support system. I am sometimes around married men who really exemplify what effective marriages should look like. It has helped me to strengthen my approach on being a husband.

Was it important for you, as a pastor, to seek a wife that would not only support you in your role as a husband but also as a pastor? If so, why was this important?  

Most definitely. I always wanted a wife who would support both her husband and her pastor. I never wanted to be in competition with my wife. I think this is important because a pastor’s wife provides a sounding board for her husband to vent, brainstorm, and question his progress or goals yet encouraging and steadfast to support the vision that God has given to them. She is often a nurse, healing emotional wounds that seem to cause many pastors to give up. She is a counselor that helps her husband to work out difficulties that are too close for him to see. She is a lover and protector to shield him from harm and to provide the loving care that is so vitally needed, especially when one feels they are in a lonely profession. Many pastors do not have close friends they can vent or share their problems with. A pastor’s wife provides that companionship that encourages him to continue even when he feels like giving up. So for these reasons, I can truly say that I have a woman who fits all of these qualifications.

What do you believe God's purpose is for you and Kwinetta?

I believe that Kwinetta and I have been called to be examples to young marriages and ultimately become world changers. Also to help strengthen marriages through biblical principles. One of the major things that she and I have realized so far is that even though it can be unnerving, is that people are watching us. So we try to not put on a facade but really exemplify real love in front of people who may ultimately become the souls that we may have to watch over.

What are some things you would tell someone to consider prior to seeking a wife? 

My advice to someone that is seeking a wife, is that when you come to that pivotal decision in your life, make sure that you are clear on what it is that you want. Be sure and prioritize beforehand. Be healed from any thing previous so that you can give the person you are pursuing everything that they deserve. Most of all have an assurance of God of the person that you are going to love. 

Photo Credit: Milanes Photography

Would you like to be featured in the Future Husband series on Chronicles of a Future Wife? Send your submission to coafw@yahoo.com. Please read feature policies before making your submission.

Follow Chronicles:

Twitter: @the_future_wife

Instagram: @the_future_wife

Facebook: COAFW

FEATURED FUTURE WIFE: KWINETTA MURRAY

Part of the vision that I have for Chronicles is that I share stories that will help to encourage single women with a desire for marriage. I believe that it's helpful to hear from Future Wives who are making the journey toward marriage. The added, and most important bonus is hearing from Future Wives and Wives who have Christ at the center of their relationships and marriages, respectively. 

Today we get to hear from Kwinetta, a Future Wife who will soon be walking down the aisle. If you enjoyed her proposal story yesterday of her and her fiance, Brandon, you will definitely enjoy her feature today. Get ready to be inspired, encouraged, and blessed with Chronicles' first Future Wife feature of 2015.

Meet the future Mrs. Moore. 

Kwinetta Murray

Wedding Date: September 26, 2015

Engaged to: Brandon Moore

Wedsite: www.themooremovement.com 

How did you meet your fiancé?

I met my fiancé at my parents’ pastoral appreciation service in 2009.

What was your first impression of him?

I only had one initial impression of him, and that was that he was VERY HANDSOME. I even told him the first time I met him. 

What are some things you enjoy doing together?

Eating, laughing, going to church, looking at houses, and shopping.

What is your definition of a wife? 

I would define a wife as someone who supports her husband in prayer, esteem, and affection. One who balances her husband, submits to him, honors him, and pushes him to his destiny.  

You will not only be a wife but you will also be a pastor's wife. How are you preparing for that role? 

Well thankfully, God is sovereign and his plan for my life has been evident for a long time. My father is a pastor, which makes my mother a pastor’s wife, and first lady also. I have been watching her, and listening to her sound advice. I have also been heavily investing my time in community service to ultimately add to the ministry with innovative and creative ideas.

What are some things you've had to adjust to going from single to engaged?

The single to engaged transition happened pretty quickly for me. One of the biggest adjustments for me is realizing that I cannot run to my close girlfriends about certain issues. I am forced to either pray, or speak with my fiancé. I am also learning how to stand on my own without my parents, it is indeed an adjustment, but I am preparing.

How are you preparing for marriage (i.e. counseling, prayer, etc...)? Why do you think these things are important?
I am preparing for marriage by going to marriage counseling with my fiancé. We pray together often, make plans for our future, and we actually discuss difficult things like our past, our fears, and our pains. The uncomfortable conversations can indeed be uncomfortable, but we learn so much about each other, and how to love each other. The way I loved him as my boyfriend, is exceptionally different from the way I have to love him now.

What are some things that you want to take into your marriage that will help it to be successful? 

Prayer and time alone away from everything else is important to me in terms of my successful marriage.  Brandon and I usually pray every night together, which is not something that we started upon engagement, we actually started this practice when he and I were just friends. I want to keep prayer constant, to keep Jesus at the center of our relationship. Alone time is also important because we both do a lot of things, and I think that making time to spend alone with one another is essential to the maintenance of a healthy marriage.

What is the best advice you've received about marriage so far?

The best advice about marriage would have to be to keep God first, keep others out, and always build your spouse.

Since this blog is about encouraging single women with a desire for marriage, what would you say to someone who desires marriage but it hasn't happened yet?

My advice would be to wait on God. Before dating Brandon, I had been single for about 6 years. I have only had ONE real boyfriend prior to dating him, I had never had a prom date, Valentine’s Day friend, or anything. These days, it can be immensely difficult with the integration and notoriety of social media. However, I had to really pray and trust God. Another piece of advice that I would offer would be to have fun. It was not until I started focusing on my happiness that Brandon entered into my life. As a Christian young lady, I was so concerned with “settling down”, that I never took time to date casually, or simply enjoy life. Also, it is important to understand that as a single woman, a man is not a cure to loneliness or hurt. We will all experience hurt in life, instead of wasting time complaining about the hurt, prepare for the storm. 

Stay tuned for Moore: 
Kwinetta's fiance', Brandon will be featured on Thursday in the Future Husband series.

Would you like to be featured in the Future Wife series on Chronicles of a Future Wife? Send your submission to coafw@yahoo.com. Please read feature policies before making your submission.

Follow Chronicles:

Twitter: @the_future_wife

Instagram: @the_future_wife

Facebook: COAFW

ENGAGED: KWINETTA MURRAY TO BRANDON MOORE

Not long ago, a cute photo of a couple popped up in my news feed on Instagram. The photo showed the bottom half of a couple standing back to back, holding hands. Him, in red pants. Her, in a cute, black tulle skirt. Both of them were wearing, what I thought was the bonus touch: Converse. I clicked on the photo to see if it would lead me to more photos from the wonderful shoot.

I ended up on the Instagram page of Kwinetta. My intent was to see more photos from her engagement shoot, but what I found was a beautiful love story and proposal of her and her fiance', Brandon. I had to get them on Chronicles.

Today, I'm happy to share with you the first proposal story on Chronicles. The story will be shared by Future Wife, Kwinetta Murray. See the beautiful love story of the future Mr. and Mrs. Moore.

Date of Proposal: September 20, 2014

Wedding Date: September 26, 2015

Wedding Location: Savannah, GA

Wedding website: www.themooremovement.com 

Social media links: @isingsoprano @thepurposeboy

Wedding hash tag: #TheMooreMovement

                                                                                                  

Kwinetta & Brandon

How did your fiancé propose? 

At my 26^th birthday party, my fiance, walked up to the front of the church and said he was going to present me with my gift. He had a lovely movie made, which I assumed was the gift. The movie consisted of various pictures from our relationship and special moments with friends. The movie also had expressions of how much he loved me, along with special birthday greetings from my out of town friends who were unable to attend the event. After the movie ended, he told me that he loved me very much and asked me to be his wife.

Did you know that a proposal was coming? 

Yes, but not then. I actually thought my big proposal was going to be Valentine’s Day 2016.

What was your reaction?

I was surprised, but I did not act the way I had always imagined I would act if I was ever proposed to. I just was in complete shock, and I could not believe that it was actually happening.

How did you celebrate the proposal that day/night?

I went to the hotel with my good friend, Monique and went to bed. I looked through all of my celebratory and congratulatory messages on Facebook and smiled.

How did you share the news with friends and family?

All of my friends and family were present at the proposal, thanks to my loving fiancé.

Did you/will you be having an engagement party? 

No

What did you love the most about your proposal?

I loved the fact that it was public. Brandon had me convinced that he would want to propose to me in a more intimate setting. The reason I enjoyed the public proposal was because I was able to share this moment with my friend and family.

Was your proposal everything you dreamed it would be?

Indeed, it was. Brandon is so amazing, and I am so honored to be his fiancé’. I am so in love with him. 

KWINETTA AND BRANDON'S PROPOSAL

Photo Credit: Kwinetta Murray, Milanes Photography, Ariel Perry

Stay tuned for Moore: Kwinetta will be featured again tomorrow in the Future Wife series. Brandon will be featured on Thursday in the Future Husband series.

Would you like your proposal featured on Chronicles of a Future Wife? Send your submission to coafw@yahoo.com. Please read feature policies before making your submission.

Follow Chronicles:

Twitter: @the_future_wife

Instagram: @the_future_wife

Facebook: COAFW

COMING UP ON CHRONICLES: SO MUCH MOORE

Kwinetta Murray and Brandon Moore

There's so much MOORE coming up on the blog this week: I'm excited to be sharing the first proposal story of Kwinetta and Brandon on Chronicles tomorrow. Then, on Wednesday, Kwinetta will be featured in the Future Wife series. On Thursday, Brandon will be featured in the Future Husband series. You don't want to miss their awesome stories. 

A SUNDAY WELL SPENT

Hello and welcome to the first official post of my return to Chronicles of a Future Wife. Over the past few days, I've been thinking about what I wanted to share in my first post. I had a few ideas and also asked the Lord for any ideas that He may have for me, then yesterday happened :-)

Yesterday after church, I was invited to a Bible Study/lunch hosted by some of the women of our church. Initially, my response to the invitation was "Maybe next time" because honestly I wanted to go home and take my after-church nap lol. I was asked again and was told that it was going to be a really nice time. I thought about it and decided to go.

Six of us met at KeKe's restaurant for food and fellowship. We began with a word of prayer by our hostess, then chatted a bit before placing our orders, and again as we waited on our food. A bit later our food arrived and we all dug in lol. I had a tuna melt with fries and everyone else had breakfast meals: hotcakes, waffles, french toast, sausage, potatoes, and ham. Everything was delicious. 

After we finished our meals, we decided to go outside to have Bible Study. KeKe's has an outdoor sitting area so we found some benches away from the sun and started our study. Our Bible Study hostess found a study by Heather Lindsey about contentment.  She gave us all a copy of the study prior to going outside for us to follow along. 

The study began with a small passage from Heather sharing that Christmas had just passed and that in the midst of being surrounded by family, friends, going to office parties and seeing tons of advertisements, "it is so easy to get tricked into comparing our lives to those we see and those we encounter." Some of the questions from the study were: Who do you find yourself constantly comparing yourself to? What is it about these people that you find yourself attracted to or envious toward? Why do you think we have these feelings of comparison?

It was very interesting to hear the different perspectives from everyone. These are my responses to the above questions:

Who do you find yourself constantly comparing yourself to? Honestly, I've never had this issue. That's not to say I haven't had any personal struggles, but I've never had an issue with comparing myself to anyone.

What is it about these people that you find yourself attracted to or envious toward? See answer above.

Why do you think we have these feelings of comparison? While this was not an issue of mine, I can understand why it can be an issue for some. I believe that some of the biggest reasons people compare themselves to others is they feel inadequate and that they're not focused on the path and purpose that Christ has set for them. 

The study concluded with us discussing some of the things the world tells us, versus what the Word tells us, and how we can get out of the rut of comparison and discontentment (points that Heather included in the study). 

I had a wonderful time yesterday and I'm so glad that I went. So now I would like to ask you, are you content? Do you have any issues with comparing yourself to others? Please share your experience with this topic. I would also like to give you a word of encouragement for the week:

Be content with where God has you. Be content with the person that you are. Be content with what you have. Keep your eyes focused on Christ and off of others. Focus on you, set your goals, walk the path that God has set for you. 

P.S. Contentment doesn't mean that you're okay with things that you may want to change in your life. It means that you appreciate where you are now while you work toward where you want to be. 

Helpful scriptures from the study:

John 7:24, Philippians 3:19-20, Acts 5:29, Galatians 1:10, Isaiah 26:3

Blessings,

Audrey

CHRONICLES UPDATE

Hello everyone :-) I didn't want too much time to pass without updating you about the blog. As you know, Chronicles will be returning March 16, 2015. I'm really happy to be returning :-) I've been thinking about how I want to run Chronicles this time around. Here are a few things:

First and foremost, I've decided to make this a weekly blog. One of the things that I didn't do before was give myself enough time to prepare my posts. This time I will and it will give me enough time to post content that I want to share with you.

Second, I'm taking Chronicles one post at a time (this is more for me than you lol). I have such a big vision for Chronicles and I get ahead of myself sometimes (another thing that I learned previously). I see Chronicles being more than "just" a blog, but becoming something greater. I have to remember that Rome wasn't built in a day ;-)

Third, I'm excited about the new features that I will be sharing on the blog. I'm working behind the scene to get them prepared to post. I'm happy that I get to highlight stories that will further encourage you in your daily walk as a Christian, single woman, and future wife. 

Lastly, I really appreciate all of you for continuing to support Chronicles even during my absence. Your words, after I posted here and here, by email,  or on Twitter, encouraged me more than you know. Thank you :-) 

I really look forward to returning to Chronicles. Mark your calendars ;-)