Monday, December 20, 2010


Hello Ladies...I've been sharing with you posts from an online journal I once had on Chocolate Brides. I like to look back from time to time to see where I was, my growth, etc... I figured if the posts are still encouraging me, then they would encourage you too. Here's a post from September 24, 2008.

I've made this observation before, but it has become more apparent to me as of late. If a man is not ready to get married, he is not ready. And, as my sister says, "And you can't make him be ready". I've seen the demise of two relationships recently that ended in divorce simply because the man was not ready (actually in one case, the man wasn't ready and in the other case, the woman forced it). It's a sad situation to be in and witness because I feel like it's so heartbreaking after the two people are sobered to the reality of their decision after the fact. I mean, we all go through things where we desire to have something that may or may not be for us but knowing the situation you're in or want is very real.

I must admit, my downfall at one point was not realizing that my ex wasn't ready to get married. He said he wanted to but there's a big difference in "I want to marry you Audrey" and "Audrey, will you marry me?" I didn't go too crazy and start planning stuff (although I could have) but I figured "Hey, I'm ready" but didn't realize that he wasn't where he needed to be.

At any rate, I just want to say that even though I have my days sometimes, I'm very thankful that God has not granted me what I think I need at the moment. Tricia said it so wonderfully the other day when she said that God is preparing the man He has for me. If I remember nothing more about this experience is to be grateful for a ready made man.


  1. So true! I think we often fail to (or don't care to) see the obvious. I've learned to not second guess what a man says because it's what he really means.

  2. That is the truth. And I don't know what's sadder: the men that succumb to the pressure of marriage and regret it later, or the woman that has to outright blackmail or give ultimatums to get down the aisle. Either way, more couples should have open dialogue because communication is the key!

  3. That's really good Audrey! It shows growth! That simple truth will save a lot of women from unwarranted issues within a marriage! There is nothing like being married 2 someone that u aren't sure really wants 2 b married 2 u! U r going 2 make an awesome wife!

  4. @CG: This right here >>> I've learned to not second guess what a man says because it's what he really means. >>> = powerful

    @Chocolate Mom: I totally agree. It would save a lot of people from unnecessary heartache.

    @LaWanda: Another great insight. And thank you for >> U r going 2 make an awesome wife! (That really made my day)

    Thanks ladies

  5. I couldn't agree with your post more! I have to remind myself of this as well. Sometimes, when I sit alone & reminisce on past relationships and what I "thought" I wanted at the time, I can't help but shed a few tears of GRATEFULNESS that I did not end up with guys who weren't "ready". I've experienced & have heard the " I'm not ready. If it's meant to be, it will be"...and so on & so forth. But I tried to "force" what wasn't there, only ending up hurting myself in the long run.But I've learned and am still learning to wait patiently. The husbands that God has designed for us can't just be made "quickly" so to say, but he is taking his time molding them. And I'm GLLLLAD about it, lol! :-)