FOR 2011... (I FORGOT TO MENTION...)

I guess it would have been nice for me to tell you where I am in my single life lol. It's simple, really. I believe now, more than ever, I'm closer to meeting the man that God has for me. It's sort of the way I explained about the blog: I believe that I've accomplished all that God has called me to accomplish in this part of my singleness and He's moving me to the next level. Getting rid of some things that were taking my mind off of waiting (distractions), is preparing my heart to receive him into my life. The only thing I know at this point is that He will come when I least expect it and in God's perfect timing. Of course, after we've met, when the time is right, I will let you know.

Continue praying for/about your future husband. Continue to allow God to work on you, change you, and transform you for Him before you are blessed with your "him".

Ok, that's it for real lol. Happy New Year.

FOR 2011...

Photo Credit

Hello Ladies. It seems like I was just wishing you well for the Christmas break. Now here it is less than a week away from the new year. I've been thinking about what my final post for 2010 would be besides telling you this will be my final post for 2010. I was thinking maybe I could do a countdown or highlight my most memorable 2010 moments, but instead, I decided to let you know where The Future Wife and the blog are headed in the new year.

The most important thing going on with me right now is the care of my mom. She's still recovering from her lung transplant and is doing well. I had some time during her recovery to post some things but now that she's progressing more, she'll need more attention devoted to getting her up and out of the hospital. (Thank you to anyone who has prayed for her. We know your prayers and everyone who is praying with us has helped us through this).

So, what about the blog? Well, Chronicles will be going on a little break. I believe that God is pleased with where the blog is for right now and I've accomplished what He wanted to accomplish for now. I have a big vision for Chronicles but I want my vision to be His vision --wait, no-- I want His vision to be my vision. So with that said, I'll leave here and get on the Potter's wheel so He can mold me even more, so I can come back with a renewed mind and an even greater vision for the blog.

Before I close, I want to thank each and every one of you for your support of Chronicles. It is your encouragement that helped to keep me going. Whether it was a kind word sent through an email, a message on FB, a nice tweet, or a comment right here on the blog, you have been a great encouragement and motivation. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I would also like to personally thank those who allowed me to feature them on the blog: Tangie Henry (Inspired Sistah), Christina and Byron Jones, Jaiya Keys, Shenina Brown, LaWanda Engleman, and Angela Oliver. God led me to you and I'm so glad that you made yourselves available to be a blessing to Chronicles and to anyone who reads your stories. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

God has some wonderful things for each of us in the new year, but it's up to us to follow Him and reach out and grab what's ours. Let's not make this an "all talk no action year". Make it a "be about it" year. (Thanks Tangie for inspiring me to be more proactive about my dreams in the new year). You ready?

Happy New Year...

P.S. If you want to see what's going on with me from time to time, check out I'm So Aud.

A VERY MERRY POST :-)

Photo Credit

Hello Ladies...Merry Christmas Eve :-) Just wanted to wish you all a happy and safe holiday weekend. I'll be enjoying my weekend with my family and visiting my mom who is still recovering from a lung transplant. I'm so very thankful for the miracle that God has worked in her life. My family and I are going to make the best of this holiday by bringing Christmas to her (can't wait) :-)

And to you, my fabulous Future Wives: You all have been a gift to me. Thank you all for genuinely supporting me here, on Twitter, in emails, and on Facebook. I have a big vision for this blog (part of it is turning it into more than a blog). With your continued help and support I can do that. Feel free to send any ideas, questions, or whatever is on your mind to coafw@yahoo.com. Thank you again for your support.

Finally, this week I asked a question to the wives who subscribe to me on Twitter and said I would share their responses on the blog today. The question was, "#Wives: How do you and your husband decide where to spend the holidays? How do you decide who to visit first?"

@sabrina_jackson responded: "GM!! My husband and I decide which to go to first by who gets together the earliest, which is always my family. It works out great because my family serves dinner first so we go there and hang then my hubby's family second."

And a response from @CherishSingers that made me chuckle: "who ever cries or gives best emotional blackmail...we go there! Simple!"

Thanks ladies for your responses. Us single ladies like to get the "inside scoop" on marriage :-) Wives who subscribe to the blog: How do you and your husband decide where to spend the holidays?

Have a very Merry Christmas everyone. Celebrate the gift of Jesus.

FEATURED FUTURE WIFE: ANGELA

I intentionally picked our Featured Future Wife for today because she's so honest about where she is in her singleness. She's very aware that there are some things she needs to let God fix before becoming a wife, and makes no excuses about them. Her feature is very honest, real, and encouraging. I'm sure her story will bless you, too.

Meet Angela.

Photo Credit: Mr. Jeno

Name: Angela Oliver

Age: 31
Hometown: Atlanta, Ga
Occupation: Recruiter
Church:Word of Faith

What do you like to do in your spare time?
I enjoy reading, spending time with my family and close friends, and traveling (would love to do more)

What is your favorite scripture?
My favorite scripture is I Corinthians 13:4-11. I LOVE First and Second Corinthians.

What does the term future wife mean to you?
It means I will be a wife when God thinks I am ready to be a wife. I have accepted it could be two or twenty years down the line.

One of the reasons I wanted to feature you is because of how honest you are about where you are in your singleness. Can you share a little of where you are in your singleness right now?
Well I am single and happy. This is the first time I have been single in about eight or nine years. I am what you call a serial monogamist. My relationships normally happen because I despise dating and the men kind of pressure me to get in a committed relationship. Now I am currently enjoying not having to worry about anyone but me. Are there times I get lonely? Yes, but it is not worth my peace of mind at this point.

What are some things you feel you need to change about yourself before becoming a wife?
Well I can be mean, selfish, controlling, I am not a fan of cooking , I don't like to be talked to all the time, I also don't like being touched all the time and I have a bad habit of tuning things out that aren't important to me. I can be bossy. LOL. I would like to stop cursing and being harsh with my words. I don't get offended easily so a person can say pretty much anything and it rolls off my back. However everyone is not like me so I have learned/still learning to pause and pray before I speak. The last thing I want to do is disrespect my mate with my tongue. I try to focus on Proverbs 15:1.

This is not something I need to change but it is a huge reason why I am not married: I will say the thing that has affected me the most are the men in my life (father, grandfathers, uncles and friends). These men are awesome. They are God fearing, providers, affectionate, etc. I can go on and on about them. However I would like to focus on my dad for a second (tearing up thinking about him). My father is the best dad in the world. He adores his children and his family. He provides, he loves, he listens, he judges (he is working on it), he is the first man I fell in love with. The bar that he has set is so high that I have not met a man that has a fraction of the qaulities he possess. The potential my mother and stepmother saw in my dad I have not seen in anyone I have dated.

What is something you struggle with the most in your singleness?
One thing that I struggle with is sex. I know full well I should not engage in those activities. However it is much easier when you are single/unattached to abstain. It is also easy when you really don't like the person you're with. The difficult part is when you are dating/in a relationship with someone you are interested in.

Next I struggle with growing old alone. I know several elderly women who never married or widowed young. That scares me! I want someone to help me get dressed, lotion me up the way my grandfather does my grandmother.

Most importantly I struggle with will I have children. If you ask any of my friends/family members I am the baby lover. I love kids especially babies. The thought of being childless scares me way more than being single. I had convinced myself that at 35 I would just go and get a baby. Why not? Everyone is doing it. Then one Sunday I was at church and my Bishop preached on Abraham and Sara (Genesis 16). I believe verse 12 states Ishmael would be a wild boar/man. My Bishop explained that when you go against God's orders and don't trust him you may get what you want but there will be consequences for disobeying him.

You mentioned in one of your tweets that you had a list of qualities that you wanted in a mate. Why did you throw it away?
LOL I threw the list away because my list was developed based on failed relationships and disappointments. Example: I may break up with a man that was not close to his mother so I may add 'I want a man that is close to his mother.' My list included the typical Christian, God fearing, no kids, etc. To be perfectly honest my last boyfriend met the requirements on the list (at least his representative did). In fact I remember being so glad I was able to go down my list checking it off. Well my list back fired and at that point I tossed it because it was not working in my favor. To be honest if he had not changed, I didn't love him so (as I shrug shoulders) what is the point?

To me not having a list does not mean I will accept whatever comes my way. For me it means I am 100% trusting God to send me what I NEED and WANT because He knows. I also pray that I am able to receive the person because he may not come in the package I would like. I just want to make sure I have no broken pieces when he arrives and if I do I would like God to heal them ASAP.

Another reason I chose to feature you is because even though you have your struggles, you're not making excuses about them, and through all of that you genuinely want to trust God to bring you and your future husband together. How did you get to that point?

I got to this point after my last two relationships. I also look at some of my friends who got married for the wrong reasons, staying married for the wrong reason, cheating, unhappy etc. So at 31 I rather be single than to be in a bad marriage. Then I see marriages that are working and ALL of those marriages are centered around God. If I have to wait until I am 50 years old I am willing to do that because I want God all over, in and throughout my marriage.

What would you say to a single woman who is where you are now, who wants to make a change in her life?
Pray, watch "No More Sheets", listen to Jamal Bryant's "I Had to Date Them", surround yourself with as many people who are single and happy, read scriptures that focus on love, marriage, etc...Most importantly don't settle!

Visit Angela's blog Caramel Glamour, launching January 2011.

You can also subscribe to her tweets @caramelglam.

CHRONICLES: MY PRE-WEDDING DAY MUST-HAVE

Yep, you guessed it: another page out of my former online journal (written September 8, 2008). Read about a must-have for my wedding day (actually, before my wedding day) when it happens.

Hey Ladies...one of my biggest dreams for my proposal is for it to be captured in every single way possible (I'm a photo fanatic LOL ). Ross Oscar Knight, who happens to probably be one of the most awe inspiring photographers to ever pick up a camera has captured yet another amazing proposal (he's the photographer that captured Robert Gray and Keisha William's "Remembering the Ritz" proposal). Below is a rooftop proposal that he captured for Jaymin and Tiffany in Atlanta, Georgia. If I had an example to show of how I wanted my day captured, this would be it. I certainly hope Mr. Knight can be booked for my big day. Enjoy.

Jaymin & Tiffany: A Rooftop Proposal

Is there something that you absolutely have to have for your wedding day (or before), something that you always dream about? I would love to hear about it.

CHRONICLES: HE HAS TO BE READY

Hello Ladies...I've been sharing with you posts from an online journal I once had on Chocolate Brides. I like to look back from time to time to see where I was, my growth, etc... I figured if the posts are still encouraging me, then they would encourage you too. Here's a post from September 24, 2008.

I've made this observation before, but it has become more apparent to me as of late. If a man is not ready to get married, he is not ready. And, as my sister says, "And you can't make him be ready". I've seen the demise of two relationships recently that ended in divorce simply because the man was not ready (actually in one case, the man wasn't ready and in the other case, the woman forced it). It's a sad situation to be in and witness because I feel like it's so heartbreaking after the two people are sobered to the reality of their decision after the fact. I mean, we all go through things where we desire to have something that may or may not be for us but knowing the situation you're in or want is very real.

I must admit, my downfall at one point was not realizing that my ex wasn't ready to get married. He said he wanted to but there's a big difference in "I want to marry you Audrey" and "Audrey, will you marry me?" I didn't go too crazy and start planning stuff (although I could have) but I figured "Hey, I'm ready" but didn't realize that he wasn't where he needed to be.

At any rate, I just want to say that even though I have my days sometimes, I'm very thankful that God has not granted me what I think I need at the moment. Tricia said it so wonderfully the other day when she said that God is preparing the man He has for me. If I remember nothing more about this experience is to be grateful for a ready made man.

CHRONICLES: THE FUTURE

Written August 28, 2008...

The one thing that struck me tonight other than Obama's powerful speech, was the woman who was there supporting him--our future First Lady--Michelle Obama. I watched as she applauded her husband and looked at him with an intensity with every word he spoke. I watched as she watched over little Malia and Sasha, further showing her duties as the future president's wife. Then it struck me: Michelle Obama was chosen and designed specifically for Barack Obama. Not just to be his wife or the mother of his children. But she was chosen as the woman who would and could stand beside him as the first Black president of the United States of America. She was designed to be a part of his future. This revelation echoed what I've been thinking as far as getting married and being with the man that God has specifically designed for me, and who I will be to him.

I firmly believe that God puts two people together with an intent and specific purpose. And I think that is a question that all single people should ask themselves when contemplating a future mate. Not just, "Do we like the same things?" or "Are we both headed in the same direction career wise, family wise, spiritually, etc.." But, "How does this person fit into the future, plan and purpose that God has for my life?" And vice versa.

My Ring Worthy thought of the day is this: The man that God has chosen for me will be in my life for a reason and I, him. As far as I'm concerned, I know that I will be in ministry one day. I know that my life is going to be led a little differently. My schedule may be a little more hectic than usual and I need someone who is equipped to handle that and is secure in that. I feel that my greatest role will be to be his greatest supporter, wife, lover and friend. I need someone who is not and won't be intimidated by all that God has for me. But is there to encourage me and walk with me through it all.

So as I'm contemplating things on this Ring Worthy journey, my greatest expectation is to bond with one who is in direct connection to my future and I, his. There is a purpose for marriage. A purpose for two people who God has designed specifically for each other. Before I say "I do", I have to know that we fit the purpose and plan that God has for us together.

CHRONICLES: I KNOW WHAT I WANT

Hello Ladies and Happy Friday to you. I thought I'd send you into the weekend with another page out of my online journal. This entry was written August 27, 2008. This particular entry is still an encouragement to me because I could actually articulate matter-of-factly what I wanted in a husband. I couldn't do that before. I hope the entry encourages you. Why not take some time this weekend and write down what you're looking for in your husband? It helps :-)

I KNOW WHAT I WANT
So, a lot of stuff has been going through my head since I started this ring worthy journey. I've really been contemplating what I expect from a man now. I mean, I've always had expectations, but these are requirements now as opposed to them being options. I'm such a giver in my relationships. Never expecting anything in return. But now I see that a true, bona fide, solid relationship is a give-give situation where both parties seek the best interest of the other. Selfishness and love can not co-exist. So with that in mind, here is where I am now: I KNOW WHAT I WANT. And (saying to myself again) these are requirements now as opposed to options. I'm going to list a few things here and as I go on in the J, I'll give a break down or elaborate a little more on them. I'm also going to elaborate on some things from my end too because it's a two way street. So here goes...

FIRST THINGS FIRST
He has to love the Lord. I don't mean just go to church. I mean he has to have a heart for God.

I have to see in him that Divine love that I'm used to receiving from God and my father.

He has to be able to take care of me

I have to feel safe enough to trust him with my life.

I have to look at him and see husband, not just some fella that I'm dating.

ETA: He has to know how to fight. I don't mean physically. He has to know how to fight the enemy.

Honestly, I think those are probably the core things that I'm looking for right now, or should I say, expect. I'm going to elaborate on those points a bit more later but just wanted to share what's been on my heart as of late. Thanks for listenin'.

Have a great weekend ladies.