FEATURED AUTHOR: ARMOND MOSLEY & REDEDICATION

I say this a lot but God has sent some great people my way to feature on COAFW. Today's guest is no different. When Jennifer posted a flyer for an upcoming book tour that she and Armond will be on, the first thing that grabbed me was its title, "The Purity Tour" and second, a male was also sharing his view on the subject. Of course I had to get him on Chronicles.

Today Armond will share some of his story as a man who yielded to God and lived a life of celibacy until marriage. He will also give some insightful thoughts that I know will encourage the future wives of COAFW.

See what it's like to be rededicated.

Armond Mosley, Author

As I read the intro to your book, Rededication, it dawned on me that this book can speak to women just as much as it can speak to men. Why do you think your book would be helpful for women to read?
Well, I think the journey as a single in Christ trying to preserve oneself as per God's command isn't gender specific. Though the experiences may differ, the spiritual turmoil is the same. For that reason, I think my book can be read by male or female because of the inherent spiritual journey detailed.

Additionally, I think my book would be helpful to women because I believe it will expose them to a different male perspective than they are accustomed to. While I recognize that the perception is that there aren't too many men who profess Christianity that are willing to wholly submit to God in the area of sexual sin, there are some. And I believe that my book will provide women with an insight into the struggles that those men go through at a more intimate level than they might obtain through casual conversation. This can help them understand the journey better from a male perspective and ultimately assist them in being a better support for said journey.

Lastly, my wife wrote the Afterword and in it she continues the theme of transparency that is upheld throughout the book. Initial feedback from the women who've read thus far is that her testimony has been both refreshing and encouraging. It adds balance to my story and sheds light on how God was working on both of us (in preparation for each other) at the same time without us even truly understanding.

You mentioned in the book that some of the guy friends you hung around didn't seem to be convicted about sexual sin, that it would be the "one" sin that God would deal with them on. Why do you think God dealt with you specifically in the area of sexual sin?
I think God dealt with me on it because he wanted my attention. He had work for me to do and it was time to get started. Sexual sin and the pursuit thereof served as big distraction for me. It created a divisive wedge in my relationship with God even though at the time I didn't realize it. Since submitting to Him, I've seen the work He's done through me and I can truly say I'm in awe. Much of the work He had for me could not have been achieved without me first submitting this glaring sin area in my life over to Him. He needed to get me past it so that He could begin to shine light in the other areas of my life. Now, almost 7 years removed from the first inclination to become celibate, I can see clearly why He chose me to deal with when He did. He wanted a male testimony. He knew that there were a litany of future pastors, deacons, ministers, prophets and other religious leaders that were trapped in bondage as a result of their acquiescence to societal expectations and inability to uphold His standard and He wanted me, little ole...broken me, to serve as an example. Wow. I'm humbled to even think about it. What first started out as celibacy workshops eventually evolved into Rededication the book. When I was going through my celibate journey I was always frustrated that there were no other black male examples that I could look to for support. And for that reason, I knew that if, through His power, I made it to the altar with a story to tell, the story would be His and to Him would be the glory.

I believe that God is beginning a new movement in the church...a return to purity for His young adults and singles. He wants them to know that He loves them and that they don't have to submit to the world's standard to 1) fit in, 2) find a man/woman or 3) keep a man/woman. Those with whom His spirit resides will find new comfort in this season as more and more will begin to take a stand against sexual immorality and restore what was once sacred between a man and a woman under the confines of marriage.

Why, in your opinion, do you think some men have somewhat of a cavalier attitude toward sex outside of marriage?
Well, for men, sex has been purported to be the premiere symbol of masculinity since the beginning of time (and especially in the age of modern media - "sex sells"). And so, from the moment a man comes into consciousness with his sexuality, he's generally been exposed to what he's supposed to do with it - have sex with as many women as he can in order to obtain and preserve "top dog" or alpha male status amongst his peers. This probably sounds childish, but this truth holds for grown men too. This psychology is buried deep into the average male's subconscious so early in the developmental stages (long before many can learn to develop an authentic relationship with Christ) of his life that by the time he's a young adult (>21), its perceived to be "normal." Normality is the ingredient that breeds a cavalier attitude because for the men who are doing the act, they don't see themselves as being cavalier, they view themselves as normal. And that's the problem.

How do you think we, as women, can encourage our brothers in Christ, or men in general, in the area of sexual purity?
Well, I think it boils down to solidarity. The problem is that while one woman may preach sexual purity to someone she's dating, there are 10 more who will engage in sexual impurity with him. This in turn makes the woman who's trying to uphold sexual purity look like an anomaly. This is especially the case within the Christian context because as the culture has strayed further and further away from the "standard" (God's standard), what it means to be a Christian woman has become more and more compromised. And thus the message of encouragement around sexual purity from a female to male has become diluted. If women can make a pact (even in remote circles) with each other to preserve sexual purity themselves and not compromise for fear of "losing him," I think that would be a great start.

Outside of the relationship paradigm, I would say that one of the primary things women can do to encourage men is to speak life into the men they interface with by way of words of affirmation relating to a man's intellect, character and personality (for example). Society has put the black man in a box and dubbed him as the "premiere sexual being" of mankind unfortunately. Women are often caught gossiping with one another about a man's endowment or lack thereof under the auspice of "girl talk." These types of discussions have to be eliminated if men are ever to accept a reality that suggest that women are not judging them by some sexual barometer. It completely undermines any attempt at convincing a man that it's "cool" and "ok" to be celibate. Instead of this traditional sexual banter, women should seek to shift the discussion to more noble traits of men and cause men to aspire to something other than sexual performance. The "Single Ladies" and "Girlfriends" example of how women engage with one another behind closed doors does nothing to promote a reality where men can be celibate and not be chastised. Until that paradigm shifts, it will continue to be difficult for women to influence men to be sexually pure.

Most of the women who read COAFW are single, waiting on the man God has for them. Do you think it's realistic for them to expect their future mates to be celibate?
Yes, but I don't think it’s realistic for them to believe that they can be the catalyst for their mate being celibate. What I mean by this is that I don't believe it’s a good omen for the woman to be the one to "encourage" celibacy in a relationship in order to get the man's buy-in. If he isn't already bought-in before he met you, I'd suggest steering clear if a celibate man is something that you desire. Reason being is because I'm a firm believer that the "choice" of celibacy for a man has to be in response to God's Word of truth. They can't "decide" to do it for personal achievement reasons and they can't do it because this "really fine girl they're dating is celibate." Those reasons aren't sustainable and if you find a man in that situation, the likelihood that he'll succumb to the flesh (and/or cause you to fall) over time is far greater than one whose made up in his own mind that He wants to follow God's command. That said, I've known (at least 3 that come to mind got married within the last 4 years) and know celibate men. They are out there, so don't give up hope!

How did your life of celibacy help your relationship with your wife before you were married?
Well, first off, I think it helped me be in the position to allow God to reveal my wife to me. Before celibacy, I was so self-centered when it came to relationships and dating and I never once allowed God as "seat at the table" in the process. However, once I became celibate and came to understand what it meant to truly submit to God, I found myself being more patient with "His time." As a result, once she was revealed to me (I know it sounds crazy, but God really did reveal her to me), I was able to truly appreciate her as the gift God intended her to be.

Once we began dating, celibacy definitely helped us build a true relationship. It allowed us the space to genuinely get to know one another without the distraction of sex. In my opinion, that's dating in its purest sense (i.e. courting). Though we were already great friends before our courtship began, we developed an even greater level of appreciation and love for one another. An interesting note is that at first, it was a bit awkward for us b/c we both had been conditioned to equate sex or the pursuit thereof with affection. As such, in its absence, I had to make adjustments and so did she. This took time, but we were committed to the paradigm shift required in order for us to be affectionate without being sexual. My belief is that it is the absence of sex, which has the ability to cloud judgment and blur vision, that created an environment where our true emotions were allowed to grow freely without oppression. As a result, after one year of courtship we were engaged...six months later...married. I know that the timeline I just outlined could be perceived to be fairytale-ish, but I have no doubt in my mind that it was our submission to God in one area of our life that led this expedited timeline. It was much easier to see clearly and once our sight had achieved 20/20 vision, we had nothing else to wait on.

What would you say to a man who wants to live a life of celibacy but is struggling to do so?
I'd first tell him that I'm excited for him because the acknowledgement of a struggle is the first step. "Conquering" sexual sin is not something that is once and done and most will not succeed on the first try. But, that doesn't preclude us from trying and trying again to meet the standard that the Lord has set before us. It is of our love for Him and His son Jesus, that we submit ourselves to him and pursue righteousness. Will we be perfect? Absolutely not, but our duty is to strive, even through struggles, to do His will.

In my book I outline a 3-phase process that I've identified as I looked back on my own journey and the missteps I made. The first phase is called Purging. I would tell the man who wants to live a life of celibacy that he first needs to purge those things that represent the life that he no longer wants to live. That might include people, place or things. The second phase is called Nourishing. Once he has purged, it will be important for him to "refuel" on the things of God through studying His Word, prayer and affiliation with the local church. Not filling those voids left behind in Purging can be very dangerous and gives the enemy an opportunity to attack at the most vulnerable points. The last phase is called Living. Once he's purged and nourished, now he's ready to begin living again. One of the key components of Living is to hold tight to those new habits developed during Nourishing and getting accountability partners in place to help you in your walk going forward. Finally, I'd let him know that it wont be easy, but if he's committed to submitting to God's will for HIs life, through His power, he can be victorious!

Book Information

Find out how to pick up your copy of Rededication here.
For a sample of Rededication, email Armond at rededicationthebook@gmail.com or go to Kingdom Workshops , click on the "Books" tab, then click on "Download Free Sample Here".