FEATURED FUTURE WIFE: {ENGAGED} JENNIFER LUCY TO JEFF TYLER

I was first introduced to Jennifer Lucy via Twitter. I would see the username @ThePurposeDr pop up every now and then via retweets. I thought the name was unique so I mozied on over to her page and ended up on her blog. At the end of her bio, was an announcement of the next phase in her life--marriage (and a link to her wedsite). Of course I had to check it out.

When I began reading Jennifer's account on her wedsite of how she met her fiance', I saw the introduction of a very interesting story. As I read more, I saw phrases like, "worth the wait", "sexual purity", and words like, "friendship", "purpose", and "pray" that described the details of her story. I particularly liked how she surrendered her emotions to God and sought His will about who Jeff was to be in her life. Today, Chronicles features another inspiring story of a fabulous future wife. If you're in need of encouragement to help keep you going on this single journey, then today's story is just for you.

Meet the future Mrs. Tyler.

Name: Jennifer Lucy
Age: 29
Wedding Date: September 24, 2011
Engaged to: Jeff Tyler
Wedsite: Jeff and Jenn

How did you meet your fiance'? I first laid eyes on Jeff in 2007 at our Church’s Youth Conference. I was serving for an organization called Worth the Wait Revolution and Jeff came up to the table to get information. I remember asking my friend Natasha about him because I was intrigued by his outgoing personality, and I thought he was cute. However, I didn’t focus on him because I was seeing someone else at the time. A few months later, Jeff became a part of the Worth the Wait (WTW) organization. I was actually one of the people who interviewed him at the time. We were already aware of Jeff’s stand on sexual purity and looked forward to him being a part of the Worth the Wait family.

One night as the Worth the Wait family were preparing for an event, we had some fellowship time over Dr. Lindsay Marsh’s house, Founder and CEO of WTW. This night Jeff and I had our first real conversation. We immediately connected strongly on a spiritual level. At this time Jeff was DJ Takeover for Heaven 1580AM. Shortly after our first conversation he invited me to be on his show to share my personal testimony and minister. Throughout 2008 I was on Jeff’s show 3 more additional times. Before 2008 ended I was no longer seeing anyone and enjoying my single state. I desired a husband but it was not my primary focus. I continually meditated on Matthew 6:33 and Psalm 37:4. I knew that if I kept my focus on God and my purpose in Him that God will give me the desires of my heart.

Fast forward to the beginning of 2009; I started crushing on Jeff and it was obvious the feelings were mutual. So I prayed and told God to please expose and reveal to me what these feelings were about. I refused to be sucked in by my emotions with someone who was not my husband. When I prayed about Jeff, God always gave me peace that surpassed all understanding. God also begin to reveal to me qualities in Jeff that I had desired in a husband. I had written a vision for my husband years prior and overtime I saw that Jeff’s character, physical and spiritual qualities lined up. A short time afterwards Jeff called me and shared his feelings. He nervously shared how he felt about me. He let me know that he thought I was an awesome woman, and that he was attracted to me, but he was not ready to get married. This was in Jan of 2009.

July 31, 2009 I came home from work to relax and I received a call from Jeff. Nervously on the other line he said, “I don’t normally do this without any prior notice, but would you be willing to go out with me tonight?” My answer was simply, “Yes, what time do I need to be ready?” He arrived at my house on our first date with beautiful roses and we went to the movies, out to dinner, and then walked around the Washington National Harbor. This was our first time being one on one with each other since the beginning of our friendship and we have literally been inseparable ever since. [See Jennifer and Jeff's full story on their site]

Was your proposal a surprise or were you expecting it? I knew that it was coming soon, however I didn’t know “when” it would actually happen. I purposed myself to not dwell on the proposal and to just focus on enjoying the courtship. I refused to be “anxious” during this time.

What are some things you've had to adjust to going from being "single-minded" to "future wife-minded?" When you are “wife-minded” you no longer think for just you. Every major decision you make, you have your fiancé in mind and you include him on it. For example, when you want to make large purchases the “single-minded” person will do it without discussing it with their mate. However, the “wife-minded” person discusses it prior to making the purchase. When you are married the assets become joined along with the expenses. This can be difficult to adjust when you have been in “independent woman” mode most of your life.

How has your commitment to abstain sexually helped your relationship with Jeff? Our friendship is VERY solid! We are able to make decisions based on the Word of God and not solely our emotions. Jeff and I do soooo many things together and we can talk about anything! There are so many other things to do other than have sex that will grow the relationship in critical areas prior to marriage! In fact, my next book will cover that!

I like that you wrote a vision of the qualities that you wanted in a husband years prior to meeting Jeff. Would you encourage that for single women? I would encourage that ladies "prayerfully" write a vision for their future mate. I say prayerfully because God who created us knows what we need for our purpose. By coming to God first prior to writing our vision for our mate we get the Holy Spirit involved. For example: I am a very strong willed, purpose driven woman. One of the things God led me to write on my vision is a strong, secure man of God that would help me to relax and have fun. Also a man whose vision I could compliment and he could compliment mine so we could work togeher. Ultimately Marriage is a ministry and before creating any ministry you write a vision for it. Its the same with marriage, its the same with your "future" mate.

One of the sentiments I hold concerning my single life is that God doesn't need my help finding my future husband. Reading your story, I see there were times where you could have tried to go ahead of God but instead you surrendered your desires to the Lord. How did that protect you in the long run when you did eventually begin your relationship? Well there were times where I tried to do things my way, and I ignored the red flags God gave me about the particular individual. In the end, I had to break soulties and heal. Its very dangerous when we dont surrender to God and wait for the right season to enter into a courtship. Once I surrendered these decisions and allowed them to be led of Holy Spirit I entered into the courtship with my one true love! My fiance, meets my expectations and does it exceeedingly and abundantly! But then again, that't the kind of God we serve!

What would you say to someone who's waiting for her future husband, but may be tempted to "throw in the towel"? How would you let her know that her waiting will be worth it? I would ask her to stand on these scriptures, and commit them to memory. At any time she feels like throwing in the towel, I would ask her to confess the word of God until she truly believes it and will not doubt! These were verses that encouraged me during my time of waiting. No matter what Believe God’s Word! Its true! Don’t settle for a counterfeit mate because you will be miserable in the long run. It’s better to be SINGLE and Happy, than to be MARRIED and wish you were SINGLE. Wait for God’s best, you DESERVE IT! Do not grow weary in well doing, you will reap a harvest if you don’t faint. (Galatians 6:9) Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalms 37:4) Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you. (Matthew 6:33)

Find out more about Jennifer's book, 

Dried Tears: A Woman's Guide to Overcoming (here)

Photo Credit: (Engagement photos), Leonard Poteat; personal photos, Jennifer Lucy

HAPPY {GOOD} FRIDAY, UPDATES, and WHAT'S COMING UP

Good Day Ladies and Happy Good Friday to you. Wishing you all a happy and safe Resurrection Day weekend. Below are brief updates and what's coming up on the blog.

POLICIES ADDED
Please see the How You Can Be Featured section of the blog. I've added the policies for being featured on the blog.

PICK A POST AND PASS IT ON
To help circulate the blog and send a word that you think would help encourage your fellow single friends, pick any post from Chronicles and pass it on. Simply pick a post from the archive menu (right sidebar) and send the link via email, FB, mobile, however you choose. Try it out now :-)

UPCOMING FEATURE: 
ENGAGED: Jennifer Lucy to Jeff Tyler- This Tuesday see another beautiful Future Wife feature. You'll be inspired.

WEDDING WEDNESDAY: TSAHAI & EARL

The colors of Tsahai's wedding are what got me. The springy green and yellow were so bold, bright and pretty, so of course since I only feature fabulousness on the blog (*smile*) I had to get her wedding on Chronicles. Plus, we are in the Easter season which makes the Green's wedding even more timely. Get an inside look on how Tsahai celebrated her big day.

Tsahai &Earl Green

April 12, 2009 (Easter Sunday)

Hillcrest Golf & Country Club in Hollywood, Florida

Wedsite: http://www.weddingwire.com/thegreens

How did you meet your husband? Earl and I used to work together at call center in Miami, FL. For about a year and a half, we had a "Hi and Bye" type of relationship in which we basically only said hello when we passed each other in the hallway. Of courese there were times in which we held some type of conversation, but it was nothing extensive. He appeared to me like a very nice, friendly guy that everyone liked and knew. However, I would never have imagined what was about to unfold. In December of 2005, thanks to the wonderful world of technology (myspace and AOL instant messenger), we unexpectedly took our relationship to another level and have been building it ever since!

How did he propose? It was a regular Saturday (or so it seemed) and Earl and I were sitting in church. My father (the pastor of our church) was about to close the service when Earl said he’d be right back. I asked him if he couldn’t wait being that the service was about to end, but he made a face and said his stomach was hurting. So my father prayed to close the service and even after he was finished praying, I was still looking down - I was reading the program for that day. My father then said that we had one more announcement. I didn’t look up immediately, but when I finally did.. I saw Earl on stage and a bunch of cameras in my face. When I realized what was about to take place, I immediately started crying. I went on stage and sat in the chair that Earl brought up for me to sit on. Before he could go on, I had to try and compose myself, I was in complete shock. Earl then nervously read the poem he had written for me. He then got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I excitedly said "Of course!". There was not a dry eye in the place. It was so beautiful!!

Describe the overall theme of your wedding.We didnt have a particular theme, however our colors were green (for obvious reasons) and yellow (which we thought complemented the green very well!)

How much time did you have to plan? We got engaged in March of 2008 and got married in April of 2009. However, even before we got engaged, we talked about what we wanted "our day" to be like. So, I would say about a year and a half.

Were there any stressful moments during planning? If so, how did you handle them? Lol, but of course! I am not one to worry about things because I know things always work out. However, stress is inevitable, especially when planning a wedding. [Tsahai shares her stressful moments below]

The Guest List
One of the most stressful things for me was the guest list. When Earl and I originally did our guest list we had so many people on the list, but wanted to cut it down to 150 people. It was really hard deciding who to invite because we wanted to invite EVERYONE! We went over that list numerous times until we finally skimmed it down to 150 people. That was stressful because we didnt want to hurt anyone's feelings and because we just wanted to share the moment with ALL of our loved ones. Nonetheless, we eventually decided/realized that we had to do what was best for us and that most people would understand our decisions.

The Dress
On the Friday before our (Sunday) wedding, my friend and I went to pick up my dress. When we left the bridal shop, apparently the hook that was holding the train of the dress up unhooked and I was dragging my dress on the ground. I didn't realize it until I got to the car, so I dont even know how long it was dragging for. Of course, the train of my dress was very dirty! :( We ran back inside the bridal shop to see if they could help me. They tried to steam clean it, but they werent having much success. They suggested that I go to the cleaner's. I started to worry a little because I had to be at my final wedding rehearsal in about an hour and I didn't want to be late. Lol, shouldn't I have been worried about the ditry dress? Well, for some reason, I didnt feel like it was the end of the world. My friend offered her suggestions on how we could clean it ourselves, but I didnt want to take any chances (Thanks Juanita!). Luckily, my dad had someone he could refer me to, to get the dress cleaned. I went to that dry cleaner's shop and once I got there I realized that an accident had taken place - someone drove right through the front of the dry cleaner's shop. I think I started to get a little stressed at this point. I thought, "Oh great!". Anyway, I was able to talk to the owner and explain my dilemma to him. Although he didn't seem to be paying much attention to me, due to the accident that just took place, he came through for me. I was able to pick my dress up on Saturday evening and it was perfect! By the way, I did make it to my rehearsal on time.

What was your favorite part of the wedding? My favorite part of the wedding was the bridal party's walk and the reception! My bridal party did a special non-traditional walk that required a lot of practice (Thanks Charline). I was a little nervous about it because even at our last rehearsal, I wasn't sure that everyone was ready for the wedding day. However, my bridal party impressed me as they did an awesome job! It was so beautiful and brought tears to my eyes.I absolutely loved the reception!! I love to dance and have fun, so this part of the wedding was really special for me. It was also important to us that other people enjoyed themselves and that surely did happen! People who I didn't expect to see on the dance floor even showed off their moves.

What special/memorable touches did you add for your ceremony? One special thing that I added to my ceremony was a solo that I performed, that my husband had no idea about. It was a total surprise to him and the look on his face when he realized what was happening was priceless. I sang "So Amazing" by Luther Vandross.

Photography Credit: Winston Delawar Photography

THE HUSBAND PRAYER CHALLENGE

Many single women are praying for a husband, but may need help on how to pray specifically for the one God has chosen for them. Below is The Husband Prayer Challenge, a helpful 31-day guide that can assist you in your prayer life concerning this area in your life. I thought this was a great idea and I'm going to do it myself. Feel free to share this with any of your single friends who are waiting on God for their future husbands.

Remember: You're not just praying for "a" husband but for YOUR husband, the one God has chosen just for you.

Thank you to Shenina Brown for emailing the challenge to me.

Photo Credit

THE PRAYER CHALLENGE

Day 1 Pray that your husband will grow spiritually and consider his accountability before the Lord. Pray that he will guard his heart by developing spiritual disciplines—Bible reading and study, prayer, meditation, scripture memorization, etc. (2 Peter 3:18; Prov. 4:23)

Day 2 Pray that your husband’s relationship with God and His Word will bear fruit in his life. Pray that he will be a man of wisdom and understanding, fearing the Lord. (Prov. 3:7, 9:10; Ps. 112:1)

Day 3 Pray that your husband will be humble and quick to agree with God about his sin. Pray that his heart will be tender toward the voice of the Lord. (Ps. 51:2-4; Micah 6:8)

Day 4 Pray that your husband will grow in leadership skills in your relationship—protecting and providing for you. Pray that he will lead you wisely and love you sacrificially, so that God will be glorified in your marriage. (Eph. 5:25-29; Col. 3:19)
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Day 5 Pray that your husband will be faithful to his wedding vows. Pray that he will have a desire to cultivate your relationship as a sign of his loyalty and commitment to you, and as a picture of Christ’s love for the Church. (Prov. 20:6; Gen. 2:24)

Day 6 Pray that your husband will love righteousness and hate wickedness, especially the evils of the culture. Pray that he will recognize and avoid wickedness in his own life, and if necessary, take a clear, strong stand against evil. (Prov. 27:12; John 17:15; 1 Cor. 10:12-13)

Day 7 Pray that your husband will safeguard his heart against inappropriate relationships with the opposite sex. Pray that his heart will be pure and undivided in his commitment to you. (Prov. 6:23-24, 26; Rom. 13:14)

Day 8 Pray that your husband will work hard to provide for your family, to the best of his ability. Pray that the character qualities necessary for a successful career and ministry will be a growing part of his character—persistence, decisiveness, strength, an analytical mind, discernment, organizational skills, positive relationships with people, determination, etc. (Rom. 12:11; 1 Cor. 15:58)
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Day 9 Pray that your husband handle finances wisely, will have discernment concerning budgeting and investments, and will be a good steward of his money in regard to giving to the Lord’s work. Pray that money will not become a source of discord in your family. (Prov. 23:4-5; Rom. 12:13; Heb. 13:5)

Day 10 Pray that your husband will cultivate strong integrity, and not compromise his convictions. Pray that his testimony will be genuine, that he will be honest in his business dealings, and will never do anything that he needs to hide from others. (Prov. 20:7; 1 Tim. 1:5, 3:7; Eph. 6:10-12)

Day 11 Pray that your husband will have a humble, teachable spirit and a servant’s heart before the Lord. Pray that he will listen to God and desire to do His will. (Prov. 15:33; Eph. 6:6)

Day 12 Pray that your husband will yield his sexual drive to the Lord and practice self control. Pray that your sexual intimacy together will be fresh, positive, and a reflection of selfless love. (Prov. 5:15, 18; 1 Cor. 7:3; Song of Solomon 7:10)

Day 13 Pray that your husband use practical skills to build your family and make wise decisions for your welfare. Pray that he will serve unselfishly. (Gal. 5:13; Phil. 2:3-4)

Day 14 Pray that your husband will speak words that build you and your family, and reflect a heart of love. Pray that he will not use filthy language. (Prov. 18:21; Eph. 4:29)

Day 15 Pray that your husband will choose his friends wisely. Pray that God will bring him men who will encourage his accountability before God, and will not lead him into sin. (Prov. 13:20; Prov. 27:17)

Day 16 Pray that your husband will choose healthy, God-honoring activities. Pray that he will not live in bondage to any questionable habits or hobbies, but that he will experience freedom in holiness as he yields to the Spirit’s control. (1 Cor. 6:12, 10:31; 2 Tim. 2:4)

Day 17 Pray that your husband will enjoy his manliness as he patterns his life after Christ and strong men in the faith. Pray for his physical, emotional, mental, social and spiritual strength. (Eph. 3:16; 1 Peter 2:21; 1 Cor. 10:11)

Day 18 Pray that your husband will have an eternal perspective—living in light of eternity. Pray that he will reject materialism and temporal values and put God first in his life. (Matt. 6:33; Deut. 6:5; Eph. 5:16; Ps. 90:12)

Day 19 Pray that your husband will be patient and a man of peace. Pray that he will not give in to anger, but will allow the Holy Spirit to control his responses. (Rom. 14:19; Ps. 34:14)

Day 20 Pray that your husband will yield his mind and thoughts to the Lord. Pray that he will not entertain immoral or impure thoughts, and that he will resist the temptation to indulge in pornography. (Prov. 27:12; 2 Cor. 10:5)

Day 21 Pray that your husband will learn how to relax in the Lord and, in his greatest times of stress, find joy and peace in his relationship with God. Pray that he will submit his schedule to the Lord. (Neh. 8:10; Prov. 17:22; Ps. 16:11)

Day 22 Pray that your husband will practice forgiveness in your relationship and with others. Pray that he will recognize any roots of bitterness, and yield any resentment and unforgiving attitudes to the Lord. (Eph. 4:32; Heb. 12:15)

Day 23 Pray that your husband will be a good father—disciplining his children wisely and loving them unconditionally. If he is not a father, pray that he will find a young man to mentor in the things of the Lord. (Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:21; 2 Tim. 2:1-2)

Day 24 Pray that your husband will have a balanced life—that he will balance work and play. Pray that he will fear God, but also gain favor with people he knows at work and church. (Luke 2:52; Prov. 13:15)

Day 25 Pray that your husband will be courageous in his stand against evil and injustice, and that he will stand for the truth. Pray that he will protect you and your family from Satan’s attacks. (Ps. 31:24; Eph. 6:13; Ps. 27:14)

Day 26 Pray that your husband will discover and live his God-given purpose. Pray that he will offer all his dreams to the Lord, and pursue only those goals that will bring God glory and count for eternity. (Jer. 29:11; 1 Cor. 10:31)

Day 27 Pray that your husband will understand the importance of taking care of his body—the temple of the Holy Spirit—for the glory of God. Pray that he will practice self-control by making wise food choices, and get sufficient exercise to stay healthy. (Rom. 12:1-2; 1 Cor. 6:19-20, 9:27)

Day 28 Pray that your husband will be a man of prayer. Pray that he will seek and pursue God in purposeful quiet times. (1 Thess. 5:17; Luke 22:46; James 5:16)

Day 29 Pray that your husband will surrender his time and talents to the Lord. Pray that his spiritual gifts will be manifest in his career, at church, and in your home. (Eph. 5:15-16; 1 Cor. 12:4, 7)

Day 30 Pray that your husband will serve God and others with pure motives. Pray that he will obey the Lord from his heart, and glorify Him in everything. (1 Cor. 10:13; John 7:17-18; Col. 3:23-24)

Day 31 Pray that your husband will recognize the lies of the Enemy in his life. Pray that his attitudes and actions will be guided by the truth as he brings his thoughts into captivity to the Word of God. (John 8:44; 2 Cor. 10:4-5)

Q&A: RESPONSES FROM KERTIA, SHENINA, AND JANEL

Good Day Ladies. Today I wanted to share the responses I received from some young ladies that answered another question I posed on Twitter and Facebook a while ago. I was interested in knowing what the overall attitude was of single women concerning marriage. See their answers below and feel free to chime in.

Photo Credit

Q: What do you think is the overall attitude of single women, in general, concerning marriage? Do you think it's positive or negative? Do you they look forward to it? Are they hopeful? Are they discouraged?

A: Kertia McSterling writes, "Hi! I think that if we don't begin to make the connection between the mediocre treatment we receive from men who aren't sent by God to be in "our sacred space" and how awesomely well treated we are by a God Who loves us infinitely and Who spares no expense on lavishing us with the desires of our hearts and spirits, then we will always have an imbalanced view of marriage/relationship and what God has given us to bring to the banquet table of marriage. We are so much more valuable than we realize."

A: Shenina Brown writes, "Personally, I believe that the overall attitude of "single women" concerning marriage is negative. Now, the overall attitude of many "CHRISTIAN single women" take on more of a positive note in my opinion. From what I've been told, read, & have experienced, many single women now feel as though if they're not married by a certain age that they will never get married. Also, their experiences with past relationships have been so bad that they have given up hope & are now leaning more towards plans that concern only themselves for the future. Though some Christian single women feel & believe the same, others take more of a positive approach & look at it in a different light. With pages and blogs such as COAFW, women conferences, ministries, & more, being single isn't looked upon as a disease as it once was because many women & men are now being taught that through God, all things are possible (with relationships), and are being encouraged to use their single time wisely. Those women that sincerely desire to be wives, seek God for direction & guidance concerning this matter, surround themselves with positive, motivating people, and occupy their time with healthy activities, may be less likely to be discouraged or have a negative outlook and attitude conerning marriage."

A: Janel (a wife, who responded to the question as well) writes, "In terms of singles, I don't know if the attitude is negative or positive, but I find many have unrealistic expectations. For one, some think marriage should make the man do things differently. Marriage doesn't make him more polite, more attentive or more like she thinks a "husband" should be. You are dating exactly who you will marry. Folks also accept band-aid proposals and "marriage." To shut her up . . . so she'll forgive me . . . so she won't leave . . . And instead of realistically looking at the situation and recognizing maybe this is the wrong thing to do right now, they look at it as, it'll work out. (Note: The italicized emphasis, mine. I love that statement)

Thank you Kertia, Shenina, and Janel. I really appreciate your input.

INTRODUCING MY FIRST GIVEAWAY!

Hello Ladies. I'm happy to announce my first giveaway. Thanks to Mimi of Divinitee who graciously offered the prize for the contest, a fashionable t-shirt that shares the wonderful message found in Romans 12:2, "Be not conformed..." I know you want to have your chance at being the winner so check the details below.

GIVEAWAY INFORMATION:
Contest begins: (TODAY) Thursday, April 14, 2011
Contest ends: Thursday, April 21, 2011

To enter: You must be a follower of at least one of the COAFW and Divinitee social networks. Your subscription is equal to one entry. The more subscriptions you have, the more you better your chances of winning. For example: If you subscribe to COAFW blog, that's one entry, Divinitee Facebook fan page, that's two entries, and so on.

Here are all the COAFW and Divinitee networks you can subscribe to: Chronicles of a Future Wife blog, @The_Future_Wife on Twitter, Chronicles of a Future Wife FB fan page, @DiviniteeShirts on Twitter, and Divinitee FB fan page. :-)


*Bonus entries: Tweet, "I want to enter the giveaway" to @The_Future_Wife and @DiviniteeShirts


To help keep count of entries please leave a comment on COAFW blog stating all above mentioned networks you are subscribed to.

Disclaimers:
-The contest is for U.S. residents only
-Winner will be selected at random
-Winner will have 3 days to respond to coafw@yahoo.com. Another person will be selected if there is no response after the third day.

Best wishes to all :-)

WEDDING WEDNESDAY: SHERRAY & DEJUAN

I have an extra big smile on my face for today's wedding because it happens to be the wedding of my cousin, Sherray. In October 2009, I traveled with my sister and brother-in-law to witness this lovely occasion. Everything, from the outdoor location to the tented reception, was just beautiful. Today, Sherray shares her memories and what went on behind the scenes of her big day.

Sherray & DeJuan Ratcliffe
October 3, 2009
Valrico, Florida

What was your favorite part of your wedding day? My favorite part of the day was walking down the isle. This moment was so signifcant to me because not only was I of course finally walking to the man that I want to spend my forever with, but I had my father by my side. This was signficant to me because unfortantely he was not in my life growing up and I truly thought I would never get to expierence that day with my father by my side. For the first time in my life I finally got a chance to feel what it was like to be a "daddy's girl"...and since that day our relationship has flourished wonderfully.

How did you spend the day getting prepared to walk down the aisle? That day flew by pretty fast. That morning my step daughter and I got up and went to the hair salon to get dolled up. We spent about 3-4 hours there and then went back to the wedding facility. The unique thing about the venue is that it was a beatiful two story home converted into a special events facility and had a complete bridal suite upstairs for all of the bridesmaids and I to relax AND get ready in for the big day. Make up started about 2 1/2 hours before the start of the wedding. It was not a rushed process at all...in fact it was completely relaxing and I savored every moment of it.

What special touches did you include to make your wedding personal/memorable? Family is very important to DeJuan and I and we were both very close with our grandmothers. We wanted them to be a part of our day. Unfortunately his grandmother passed sudddenly in 1998. However his great aunt from Kentucky was able to make it to the wedding and we felt she was the perfect person to represent the memory of his grandmother. So we had both my materal and paternal grandmothers and his great aunt in the wedding processional. We also put a tribute in the wedding program to his grandmother and two of my uncles that I was very close to that had untimely sudden passings. On a lighter note my step daughter and I performed a cute little dance during the reception to Mary Mary's "Its the God in Me". We tried to get my son to shake a leg with DeJUan but you know little boys...he was way to cool for that! lol

My great-aunt :-)

Were there any wedding day "mishaps"? If so, how did you handle it? There were a few behind the scenes mishaps that I did not know about until after the honeymoon. My coordinator did a great job at "hiding them"! The biggest and most devestaing unfortunately I knew about and it couldnt have been hidden. We found out after it was too close to the wedding that we had a cake vendor from hell! She lost our sketches numerous times, wouldnt return calls, and called the NIGHT before the wedding asking questions about the details and decor of the cake! Needless to say when we actually saw the cake I was terrified and devested! It was leaning, cracked, and missing the detailed patterns that were to be etched into each tier. The grooms cake was supposed to be an alligator with a tomahawk in the head representing the rivarly between FSU (the hubby's fav team and UF the best man's fav team). It looked like a turtle or some other unGodly looking creature! I wanted to burst into tears when we saw the table with the cakes but I held my composure. The only thing that kept me from losing it was the taste! It was absolutely delicious! I know that sounds crazy but people were more impressed with the taste of the cake then the look..either that or they were just being really really nice about it! But I did eat a piece and it was magnificent! Needless to say she will never be used again and got a piece of my mind after it was all over.

You had a beautiful outdoor ceremony. What advice would you give to future brides about having an outdoor ceremony? The best advice I can give for a bride having an outdoor ceremony, especially if you live in Florida is to pray for the best but plan for the worse (or unexpected). In our case we had the ceremony and reception outdoors so we had to decide if we wanted to invest in the very costly tent rental. The wedding was in Oct so the rain chances are usually pretty low that time of year and the heat is usually not as intense. It rained all week and the wedding day we had a 20-30% chance. We decided to get the tent, and Im glad we did. Although the day turned out beautiful with not a cloud in the sky the sun was till beaming hard. Our guests would have been scortching hot if we hadnt had that form of shade for them to sit under for the reception. So while we we could have saved a few bucks b/c we got away from the rain, that savings was not worth the discomfort of our guests if we hadnt "prayed for the best but planned for the worse OR unexpected and gotten that tent!

Guess who caught the bouquet?

That would be me :-)

Me and the superstar couple :-)

Photo Credit: Richard Harris with Millennium Entertainment & Photography (Photo of me with bride and groom, mine)

OPEN LETTER: FROM LATOSHA

A few weeks ago, I posed a question on Twitter and Facebook, asking the single ladies to share where they were in their single walk. LaTosha was one of the first to respond. After reading her story (and her giving me permission to post) I knew I had to share. I liked that she shared the reality of her single mother experience, the lessons she learned, and how she's allowing God to prepare her personally and to one day be a wife. Her story is very inspiring. Here is her Open Letter.

FROM LATOSHA
I am a single mother of a 2-year-old. Being a single mom has honestly been a struggle for me. It’s hard to pay all the bills by myself, clean, work, take care of my daughter, and at one point I was a full time graduate student but am currently taking a sabbatical because it was becoming too much. I wished someone was there to simply get my daughter dressed in the morning or pack her bag for day care little things like that would mean the world. 

For a while I started feeling like God was punishing me for the sin of fornication. Then I was racked with guilt and would constantly cry. I would think things like, “My daughter is being raised in a single parent home because I couldn’t keep my legs closed and she is growing up without a father figure and it’s all my fault”. It just seemed so unfair to her. 

As for me, I use to hate not having anyone to call and talk to and dreaded when the weekend would come and I would sit at home alone. Then I realized that all those thoughts came from the enemy. I kept telling God that I was ready for him to send my husband then finally one day he spoke to me and told me that if I were really ready he would have already sent him. 

From that time on God began to place people in my life that started teaching me what it really means to be a wife and what marriage is all about. I quickly realized that I had a lot to learn. Now I tell people I am in preparation I am convinced that God is preparing me and I am content with my singleness. Now that does not mean that I still don’t want to get married. It simply means that I want to be ready. 

I am excited about this time in my life because I am becoming someone’s wife and it keeps me mindful of what is to come. In this process I’m learning to be patient and trust God. In this time it is just me and God a time for me to get more intimate with him.

Feel free to comment and encourage LaTosha in her single walk. I believe when we lift each other up during this single journey, it gives us the fuel we need to live the lives that God has called us to live.

THE NOT SO GREAT COMPROMISE: GUEST POST BY CANDRA BRIGHTWELL

Hello Ladies. When I see something good, I love to share it, especially if it's something that will encourage you in your singleness. I asked the fabulous Candra Brightwell of Love In Waiting blog if I could repost this great post she shared on Facebook. She happily said yes. Below is the post. I pray that it blesses you as it blessed me. It's very thought provoking. Thank you Candra for allowing me to repost. I appreciate it :-)

P.S. Candra is a fabulous Future Wife too who'll be walking down the aisle in August :-)

COMPROMISING MY RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD FOR A MAN

BY CANDRA BRIGHTWELL {LOVE IN WAITING}

Several single Christian women have been there. Yes, even I considered it…hooking up with an unbeliever who rejects the gospel that you love. “Why?” some may ask. I suppose because being single can be so hard that we’d rather be married and unhappy than single and unhappy. I know…it makes no sense.
I never had any intentions on abandoning my service to God, and taking up with a man who didn’t believe. I had this idea that I could change him. I could be the spiritual influence he needs in his life. Now I know that all day long the Bible tells us not to be unequally yoked. But there is something about a lonely heart and a weary mind that leads us to believe foolishness.

God promised Abraham and Sarah that He would give them a child in their old age. But they just couldn’t let it go at that. They had to figure the situation out on their own because it seemed impossible. Well I had been single so long that it seemed impossible to find a single, loving, saved, attractive, funny, intelligent, responsible man of God. As the years passed and I went from my early twenties to mid-twenties, the pickens seem to get slim. It felt like going to a 12 hour sidewalk sale in the eleventh hour. Everything in your size and favorite colors are gone. So then you wonder to the 80% off rack and buy five Thanksgiving sweatshirts from 3 years ago just so you don’t feel defeated walking out with nothing. Well…okay…maybe only I do that. (Smile)
So, having a hard time trusting in the promises of God…even knowing how He did in fact blessed Sarah to give birth to Isaac…I tried to help God. And please be careful of the advice you get when it comes to dating and courtship. If you have the Spirit of God inside of you and you’re serious about obtaining eternal life, line up the advice you receive with the Word of God. If the advice is contrary, don’t follow it! I say this because others will want to help you help God.

The extent of my pursuit to have a relationship with an unbeliever went as far as a few dinners. I began to grow feelings for this person, but the Holy Ghost would not let me be settled with him. His thinking process, his beliefs, and his actions rubbed the Spirit of God in me the wrong way. Some choose to ignore this warning the Spirit gives. Then women end up getting pulled out of the church instead of pulling the man in. And if he does attend a few church services don’t start rejoicing yet. If he is not ready to give his life to the Lord, he may ask you to do some things in return. Things you know is not in God’s will for your life…and I’ll just leave it at that. It’s called compromise.

Realizing that the end result of this relationship would consist of me loving a man that doesn’t love God finally put the brakes on for me. If I gave my life and my time to this man with no hope for a future in Christ with him, I would end up hurt, alone, and separated from God. You can tell in the first few conversations you have with him whether or not he’s going to be real about God and the church.
And until he decides to get real, you better decide to get separated.
Be ye not unequally yoked.

Today I am much wiser and even more in love with Jesus Christ. So there’s no way I’d leave His goodness, faithfulness, love, and ability to make me happy every single day for anything. In due time, a man of God will join you in God’s goodness, faithfulness, love, and ability to make you happy every single day.

Don’t fret about the impossibility of God’s promise for you. When has He ever failed? Don’t worry about the slim pickens. We can only have one man anyway. So why do hundreds need to be available. God knows you and He knows how to reserve the man for you.

Safe in His will,
Miss Love In Waiting

CHRONICLES: FEELING A LITTLE LOUIS

Besides shoes, I'm a huge fan of nice handbags. Today, I'm feeling a little Louis after seeing the black embossed speedy cube on the Beauty Fash blog. I'm also in love with the Vernis Alma as well.

Do you have a favorite handbag?

EMBOSSED SPEEDY CUBE

VERNIS ALMA