Tuesday, April 12, 2011


A few weeks ago, I posed a question on Twitter and Facebook, asking the single ladies to share where they were in their single walk. LaTosha was one of the first to respond. After reading her story (and her giving me permission to post) I knew I had to share. I liked that she shared the reality of her single mother experience, the lessons she learned, and how she's allowing God to prepare her personally and to one day be a wife. Her story is very inspiring. Here is her Open Letter.

I am a single mother of a 2-year-old. Being a single mom has honestly been a struggle for me. It’s hard to pay all the bills by myself, clean, work, take care of my daughter, and at one point I was a full time graduate student but am currently taking a sabbatical because it was becoming too much. I wished someone was there to simply get my daughter dressed in the morning or pack her bag for day care little things like that would mean the world. 

For a while I started feeling like God was punishing me for the sin of fornication. Then I was racked with guilt and would constantly cry. I would think things like, “My daughter is being raised in a single parent home because I couldn’t keep my legs closed and she is growing up without a father figure and it’s all my fault”. It just seemed so unfair to her. 

As for me, I use to hate not having anyone to call and talk to and dreaded when the weekend would come and I would sit at home alone. Then I realized that all those thoughts came from the enemy. I kept telling God that I was ready for him to send my husband then finally one day he spoke to me and told me that if I were really ready he would have already sent him. 

From that time on God began to place people in my life that started teaching me what it really means to be a wife and what marriage is all about. I quickly realized that I had a lot to learn. Now I tell people I am in preparation I am convinced that God is preparing me and I am content with my singleness. Now that does not mean that I still don’t want to get married. It simply means that I want to be ready. 

I am excited about this time in my life because I am becoming someone’s wife and it keeps me mindful of what is to come. In this process I’m learning to be patient and trust God. In this time it is just me and God a time for me to get more intimate with him.

Feel free to comment and encourage LaTosha in her single walk. I believe when we lift each other up during this single journey, it gives us the fuel we need to live the lives that God has called us to live.


  1. Hi! I'm a single mom myself, and quite often (at least one day a week, if not more) I get depressed because I'm single, and although my daughter has been living with my parents since she was three months old, I still feel like I'm not wanted because I'm a single mom and no one wants to deal with that. And then I feel bad because I can't take care of her on my own, even though I have all these extra benefits with benig in the military (my actual job in the military follows a pretty crazy schedule that changes a lot, and I didn't think it would be fair to her to keep her with me). I have those days when I tell myself that God has something else planned for me, but the bad days seem to outweigh the good... I'm working on accepting the fact that I'm single, and that I don't have people here to talk to. This helped a little bit, and it's good to know that I can come here and read this to help with I have those bad days.

  2. Hi Shenise and thanks Audrey for posting this letter. I am also a single mom of 2 boys and just like you Shenise, I have those days when the enemy gets busy in my head and I start to have negative thoughts about how no man would want a "ready made family." But God quickly reminds me that despite how I see my circumstances, He still has His best for me in store. In Genesis, Abraham fathered Ishamel with Sarah's slave Hagar and she was toss out with Ishamel in tow. A fellow single mother if you will. Genesis 16:13 says "You are the God who sees me," for she {Hagar} said, "I have now seen the One who sees me.” And as the story goes, they both returned to Abraham’s home and a great nation was birthed from Ishmael. God sees you and your efforts and as long as you are seeking Him and the Kingdom of Heaven, He will give you your hearts desire. Stay encouraged ladies!