Monday, April 18, 2011


Good Day Ladies. Today I wanted to share the responses I received from some young ladies that answered another question I posed on Twitter and Facebook a while ago. I was interested in knowing what the overall attitude was of single women concerning marriage. See their answers below and feel free to chime in.

Q: What do you think is the overall attitude of single women, in general, concerning marriage? Do you think it's positive or negative? Do you they look forward to it? Are they hopeful? Are they discouraged?

A: Kertia McSterling writes, "Hi! I think that if we don't begin to make the connection between the mediocre treatment we receive from men who aren't sent by God to be in "our sacred space" and how awesomely well treated we are by a God Who loves us infinitely and Who spares no expense on lavishing us with the desires of our hearts and spirits, then we will always have an imbalanced view of marriage/relationship and what God has given us to bring to the banquet table of marriage. We are so much more valuable than we realize."

A: Shenina Brown writes, "Personally, I believe that the overall attitude of "single women" concerning marriage is negative. Now, the overall attitude of many "CHRISTIAN single women" take on more of a positive note in my opinion. From what I've been told, read, & have experienced, many single women now feel as though if they're not married by a certain age that they will never get married. Also, their experiences with past relationships have been so bad that they have given up hope & are now leaning more towards plans that concern only themselves for the future. Though some Christian single women feel & believe the same, others take more of a positive approach & look at it in a different light. With pages and blogs such as COAFW, women conferences, ministries, & more, being single isn't looked upon as a disease as it once was because many women & men are now being taught that through God, all things are possible (with relationships), and are being encouraged to use their single time wisely. Those women that sincerely desire to be wives, seek God for direction & guidance concerning this matter, surround themselves with positive, motivating people, and occupy their time with healthy activities, may be less likely to be discouraged or have a negative outlook and attitude conerning marriage."

A: Janel (a wife, who responded to the question as well) writes, "In terms of singles, I don't know if the attitude is negative or positive, but I find many have unrealistic expectations. For one, some think marriage should make the man do things differently. Marriage doesn't make him more polite, more attentive or more like she thinks a "husband" should be. You are dating exactly who you will marry. Folks also accept band-aid proposals and "marriage." To shut her up . . . so she'll forgive me . . . so she won't leave . . . And instead of realistically looking at the situation and recognizing maybe this is the wrong thing to do right now, they look at it as, it'll work out. (Note: The italicized emphasis, mine. I love that statement)

Thank you Kertia, Shenina, and Janel. I really appreciate your input.

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