Sunday, July 25, 2010


Singleness is a lifestyle. It's the part of your life where you serve God without distraction (1 Corinthians 7:34), get to know yourself, and allow the relationship you have with God to grow while allowing Him be the "man in your life" until He blesses you with an earthly mate.

But if you have a desire to be married, there's another part of your life that I think is necessary and should be incorporated. I call it "the process". Often times I think women try to get married before allowing God to change them for marriage. The process is a step on your way to marriage that I think is vital and can not be skipped.

A woman can't birth a baby without going through the process of the baby being formed in her womb. A cake can't be eaten until its gone through the process of being baked. A butterfly isn't a butterfly until it goes through the process of metamorphosis. A single woman with a desire to be married isn't prepared for her future husband until she allows God to take her through the process of becoming a help meet.

So what is the process? Glad you asked :-) (Note: I'm taking this from my own experience that I think can be helpful in your walk).

The process is allowing God to take you through the necessary steps, changes and transformations to help prepare you for marriage and your future husband.

What does the process include?
  • Being honest with yourself about yourself (i.e. Am I REALLY ready to get married? Why do I want to get married? Do I want to get married or do I want a wedding? Who would want to marry me?)
  • Understanding that you will need to spend a few days saying no to some things in order to cultivate your relationship with God (i.e. saying no to dating for a while, saying no to going out every week, saying no the favorite tv show or form of entertainment that you enjoy)
  • Releasing the fear that you may never get married if you sacrifice the above. (Here's a little secret: God already knows you want to get married. Your sacrifice is not a signal to him saying, "I don't want to get married." In fact, it's the exact opposite. You're showing Him how much you TRUST Him with every aspect of your life, including your future married life.)
  • Prayer and quiet time (the way you define quiet time may vary. For me, it was shutting everything off every night at a certain time, reading the Word, writing, and praying.)
  • Getting to a place where you totally trust God with your future married life (which I think is the end result of it all)
God took me through every one of these steps and I have not regretted one of them. I believe that when you take the necessary steps to honor God in your single life and trust Him with bringing you and your husband together, you're showing Him how much faith you have in Him (Hebrews 11:6).

The process is one of my heart's desires for the Christian single woman who has a desire to married: that she would do a radical move in her life and fully live out a life pleasing to God, that honors Him while being prepared for her future husband.

Also, understand that this isn't the recipe for getting a husband. This is the process that I think is necessary to go through to help prepare you for your future husband. (Another little secret: Your husband has already been chosen for you. God doesn't have to go out and search for him. But it's necessary that the both of you are ready for each other before you're brought together).

The process is not always easy, but as you go from phase to phase, you will see how your heart has opened up and that God is in His rightful place in your life.

It's something that can not be skipped.

The Future Wife,

Feel free to share your comments, thoughts, or questions about this post.


  1. Hi Audrey!

    I found the link to your blog while searching for through some other Christian blogs. I love the information and wisdom you are providing especially from the single perspective. God has placed many married couples in my life in order to help prepare me to become a wife and understand what life is like after the hype of the wedding dies down.


  2. i absolutely love your blog. i just discovered it for the first time today and it's exactly what i needed to read at this moment in my life. i believe God wanted me to hear what you had to say. so i started reading from the very beginning. thanks for chronicling your journey. be blessed!

  3. @Frances: I'm extra late on responding but thank you for visiting, and continuing to visit, the site. I'm always humbled when someone shares how the blog is helping them. All praises to God for it.

    @Anonymous: Thank you as well. I saw your comment last night while checking my email and it really encouraged me. I'm always happy when what God has laid on my heart can touch the hearts of others. May God bless you as you continue on in your journey. Don't be a stranger.