Sunday, August 28, 2011


Hello everyone and welcome to the Whole Woman Blogshop. Today I'm introducing what I pray will be a blessing for all who become a part of this wonderful series. I'm looking forward to sharing with you, over the next few days, some very encouraging words and inspiring stories. Not just from me but from a great group of women who I know will bless you.

It is my prayer that if you are broken in any area of your life, that this will serve as a resource that will help you start you on your journey to wholeness. It is also my prayer that if you are already walking in wholeness that this will serve as further encouragement  or a "refresher course" of sorts to continue to walk in wholeness.

To get things started, today I'm sharing with you my story. It is what motivated me to want to do the blogshop in the first place and is the foundation of what it is all about. I believe that I was supposed to give purpose to my journey and, in that, encourage others as well.  

Here is my story.

It all started when I was in college. I had these bad feelings that I could not shake. I couldn't get through a day without something going wrong. I just didn't feel "right". So, I challenged myself to make it through an entire week without something happening. It worked. It was then that I knew something was indeed, wrong.

Previous to this, I had nothing to compare the wrong thing to. But, after going through a week of "right", it felt so refreshing to complete a day without any mishaps.

What I learned later on is that those wrong things, those feelings I had were due to a lack of self worth. I felt like I couldn't do anything right. There was a spirit of defeat looming in my spirit--a world of negative thoughts that I didn't know existed.

Eventually I did something about it.

One day as I was lying on my bed in my campus-owned apartment watching TV, my mind started to wander. I started thinking about all of the things that were going on with me. Looking back, I realize that God was preparing to reveal to me what was wrong with me. And just like that, in a simultaneous move, I sat up in my bed and said, "Audrey, you have low self esteem". I'd heard the term used before but didn't pay it any mind because I didn't think it applied to me. But after thinking about how I'd been feeling, the mishaps, and not being able to make it through the week without something going wrong, that day I made the connection.

Over time, I took the necessary steps to overcome my brokenness. I looked up everything I could about low self esteem (during this time I learned that I was suffering with depression). I went to an on campus counselor for help as well. As I understood more and more what my problem was, I wanted to get the bad things out and replace them with the good. I attended church every Sunday and it seemed as if the pastor had a word for me every single time. I started reading books like, The Lady, Her Lover, and Her Lord, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Lady In Waiting, and Success God's Way. I began watching Joyce Meyer, TD Jakes, and Charles Stanley. I started defining words that I'd heard before but needed to understand what they meant to my life. I defined words like: low self esteem, anger, shame, self worth. I carved out a set time to spend with God every night.

But ultimately it was me allowing God to do a divine make over in me that turned my brokenness into wholeness. The woman I am today is a result of it all.

I don't know where you are in your life right now. Maybe you're broken and are in need of a divine make over. Maybe you're already walking in wholeness and need a refresher course. Where ever you are, I encourage you to join me and the guests who will be a part of the Whole Woman blogshop, as we encourage you to be what I believe God wants all of us to be--whole.

1 comment:

  1. I can wholeheartedly relate to this Audrey. For so long, I tried to cover up what was REALLY going on with me because I was taught & always encouraged to believe in myself and to know that I was somebody, going somewhere, to do something. In actuality, I was suffering inside. On the outside I appeared to have it all together, but the inside told the truth because I was not happy with myself at all. It was not until I learned more about Jesus and developed a closer, more intimate relationship with him that I found peace and acceptance with who I was. Though I still struggle with some insecurities that I can definitely take control over now, I am thankful to God that I'm slowly beginning to realize even more that I am worthy & that I am wonderfully made in his image, regardless of who society says I should be. Thanks for sharing your story.