After I decided that I would start doing spotlights from a male perspective on Chronicles, Donnie was one of the first people I thought of. I featured his fiancee, Michelle back in March and, like her, I had to get him on the blog. The one thing that stuck out to me about Donnie is that he had his act together before pursuing Michelle and he actually courted her -- something that I think is very important from a man who is showing interest in the woman he would like to marry. Today we see a love story from a male's point of view. Here is COAFW's first future husband feature.
Name: Donnie Smith
Wedding Date: November 5, 2011
Engaged to: Michelle Jones
Wedsite: Donnie Loves Michelle
How did you propose to Michelle?
I really had to plan ahead to propose to Michelle. I wanted to have her friends and family there to catch the moment. One day in the beginning of our relationship I over heard her saying she wished her close friends and family could share her engagement moment with her. I wanted it to be a surprise. Michelle is a very nosey person so I felt that I had to trick all of her friends and family into one location. The only way I could do that was on her birthday. I told her closest friends and family that I wanted to throw her a surprise birthday party and I kept the proposal part to myself. I know Michelle wanted to hang out with a lot of friends and family for her birthday. So on her actual birthday I took her to a simple dinner and movie and a gave her a birthday card. I can tell she was sort of disappointed because I didn’t really give her a gift or do anything special like I usually do. She ended up planning her own party. She invited a lot of friends and family to dinner and watch Sex and City 2 that next day. I told her that after the movies I had a surprise for her and told her to pack a bag and I would pick her up from the movies that night. I told her friends that they would need to lie to her. Her friend’s job was to make up a lie about a party going on at the Palomar Hotel. I on the other hand told Michelle that I couldn’t pick her up on time because I left my wallet at home and that she could hang with her friends and I would meet her wherever she was. It was late she was anxious about my surprise trip and upset cause I was late. Everyone was at the hotel waiting on her to arrive in which she walked in and was totally surprised. I waited a few minutes then I gave her a plaque that had a poem on it that rhymed. I told her to read it and when she got to the end I was already on one knee.
Women usually have the dream of getting married very early in life. I think that it's different for men. At what point in your life did you decide that you wanted to get married/look for a wife? How did you allow God to prepare you for that?
I felt I was at an age where I thought about having a family. I was at the point where I felt like I should be dating for a purpose and not just to have fun. I didn’t want to miss out on any blessings that were put in my face for a reason. God prepared me for a wife by taking me through different events in my life so when Michelle came along I was really able to appreciate every bit of who she is a woman.God has a plan for every man and sometimes you have to just follow your heart and also be realistic and set goals.
What do you think are some important things a man should have in place before seeking a wife?
Before seeking a wife I believe a man has to have prior relationship experience. Women are picky and different in a lot of ways and you must be able to handle that as a man. I believe a man should be financially stable. I also believe that a man should appreciate and love his woman so that he would never cheat. If you value, appreciate,and respect your wife, she will meet your every need.
One of the things I noticed about how you pursued Michelle is that you actually courted her. I believe courtship is one of the things that's missing in relationships today and something that very few men do. Was courtship something instilled in you or something you learned as you two started dating?
Courtship was instilled in me and I learned as I went through different dates and conversations with women. I believe communication is the biggest part of a relationship. When I met Michelle I was open to any questions and she was also. We talked and talked and learned each others likes and dislikes. So I was able to decide whether I could really deal with Michelle or even accept her as a girlfriend.
How did Michelle's response to you make a difference in how you'd further pursue her?
Her responses were the most important part to start our relationship. She answered every question perfectly and gave me the chance to see if I wanted to continue to pursue her. I loved all of her answers and she made me want to get to know her even more. I believe many questions should be asked and answered while dating to ensure that people are on the same page. If you are not honest you will only hurt yourself and waste your own time in the long run. I believe people should filter people in order to determine what they can and can't deal with. This will save people a lot of time.
What advice would you give to a man who has the desire to be married but isn't sure what steps he needs to take to get there?
I believe a man should know his woman inside and out. The more you understand your woman the easier the relationship will flow. A man should always cater to his woman and sometimes tell his friends, "I will catch up with you later." I also believe a couple's goals should somewhat be alike. Never rush into proposing until you get all of the games out of your system. A man should never settler for less. What you put into a relationship is what you will get out of it. Give 100% because giving less will only hurt yourself. Make sure you can offer as much as your woman has to offer so that yall are meeting each other halfway. God and communcation are the key to a successful relationship and marriage.God has a plan for everyone. Guys shouldn't waste their time trying to psych themselves into marriage.
What are you most looking forward to becoming a husband/getting married?
I am looking forward to building a home and a family and growing old with Michelle. This is something that we both have dreamed about. I am also looking forward to seeing her in a beautiful dress and to see her face light up when she hears me say "I do."